November 5, 2008Poison Phrase ~ You wouldn’t be interested
When I asked Nick about a talk he was giving, he replied,
- You wouldn’t be interested.
That was for me to determine.
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My feeling is agreement with you that it was definitely your decision to make if you would be interested, but wondered WHY he said that?
I wondered if he tried to share with you before and your response somehow made him feel unimportant? I think I would have asked why he didn’t feel comfortable sharing. My daughter tells me that “hurt people hurt people” and I have found this to be true.
Also, in light of your comments about filtering comments so you take in what is good for you, is there ANYTHING positive for YOU, that you can get from the experience?
Warm regards, Catherine Newhart
Comment by Catherine Newhart — November 7, 2008 @ 9:30 pm
Very good point, Catherine. Nick and I had just met, so it clearly wasn’t our history. His topic was esoteric, so I suspect he was used to people not understanding his work. But I also think there was a gender bias in his dismissive assumption. A female colleague who was with me thought so too.
So as far as finding something positive in it, it was very positive for me. It helped me be more conscious of a kind of subtle put down that I used to react to unconscously. This isn’t the first time someone who barely knows me has tried to decide for me and to define me. There was a time when I would be unduly influenced by this kind of assumption, but as I grow more aware, I am more able to self-reference and less inclined to be limited by the opinions of others.
Thanks for your comment!
Comment by merylrunion — November 18, 2008 @ 1:30 pm