November 5, 2008This Week in the World ~ Know what you’re sensitive to

Filed under: This Week in the World by merylrunion |

Last week I told a friend what foods I’m allergic to. I summed it up by telling her, “It’s difficult to be such a sensitive critter, but it does help that I at least know what I’m sensitive to.”

Yes, it helps to know about food sensitivities – and it also helps to know about verbal sensitivities. We all have different sensitivities. For example, I recently cringed when “Sue” pressured “Jake” for a favor. I reacted, but Jake didn’t miss a beat. He said,

Please respect my decision and don’t try to coerce me into doing something I choose not to.

They moved on to another topic, and were as friendly as ever after that.

I wouldn’t have been as cool. When people I care about pressure me, it feels physical. I often react as if I have to comply or resist. Jake did neither. He isn’t as sensitive to coercion as I am.

Another dynamic I’m sensitive to is the suggestion that if I can’t clearly identify why I’m upset, my grievance is not legitimate. That shuts me down fast – but not like it shut me down before I discovered the sensitivity.

The more familiar you are with the kinds of communication you’re sensitive to, the more able you will be to respond instead of react. Be sure you can digest what you ingest.

If my next point doesn’t make sense to you, ignore it. If it does, this might be one of the most useful posts I’ve written.

I’m kinesthetic. I evaluate things by feeling. I’ll say, “That hit me wrong,” or “What she said doesn’t feel right,” or “I was touched by his words.” I often assess PowerPhrases and Poison Phrases by scanning my body’s response. That can be a useful discernment tool – but last weekend I realized it comes at a price. Here’s what happened.

My friend “Shannon” and I attended a talk with that started nicely, but didn’t sit well in the end. After the first ten minutes, I wanted out. After a tedious half hour, I felt weak, blocked and anxious. I had to exercise to get back into balance.

Shannon had the same assessment of the talk, but she didn’t take it in her body to evaluate it. She observed that the speaker started speaking from his heart, moved to ego, became very intellectual at times and spoke coercively at other times. She did not run everything he said through her body to make those determinations. Instead, she paid attention to his body language and wording and decided what to let in to feel and what to keep out. As a result, she didn’t take the hit from the talk that I did.

I spent the rest of the conference trying to learn everything I could from Shannon.

My kinesthetic friends are as excited about this information as I am, because it means we don’t have to take in poison. We can avoid ingesting things that don’t nourish us – but let the things in that do.

Can you imagine how transformative that skill can be? It’s like discovering that you’re allergic to dairy without having to drink it to find out.

What are you sensitive to? And what do you have to do to find out? I’d love to hear your experiences, and I’ll update you about my explorations.