December 4, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Cross me off you list
My friend and mentor Jeffrey Armstrong called to say he was leaving for England that afternoon and he wanted to be sure we spoke before he left. I said something about him being able to,
- Cross me off you list.
Jeffrey insisted he did not regard me as an item on his list.
On later reflection, I realized that even though I was being playful and had no thoughts about my being a task to be completed, my words were depersonalizing. They suggested we were engaged in a transaction, not enjoying a friendship. And even though my intent was innocent, my words contributed to a dynamic that I don’t want to feed. I object to language that depersonalizes, whether it’s a doctor referring to patients as if they are their diseases, or news people referencing dead civilians as “casualties of war,” or me referring to myself as an item on a list. The way we word things reflects how we relate to them. Depersonalization is dehumanizing, and it’s time we all stopped doing that – including me.
I made the Poison Phrase of the Week this week. However, I did refrain from using another Poison Phrase.
It’s as far away as it always was
My son mentioned that since the local highway was expanded into four lanes, “Des Moines got a lot closer.”
My literal self wanted to comment:
- It’s as far away as it always was – it’s just that you can get there faster now.
But my better self resisted the temptation and refrained from correcting. Sometimes being right means being obnoxious.
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Although I have yet to fully grasp the complexity of concepts in Martin Bubur’s book I and Thou I believe it is important to recognize the difference between “I-Thou” relationships (we treat each other as valued human beings) and “I-it” relationships (you are an object, ordinary, disposable, and replaceable). We must not allow I-it to displace I-thou.
Comment by Lee Beaumont — December 5, 2008 @ 6:51 pm