January 27, 2009Discussion ~ get over it or get into it? The great processing debate

I posted new articles this week on the topic of processing. By “process” I mean grapple with issues, study wounds and examine misunderstandings to sift, sort, untangle and learn from them. Processors move closer in when interaction gets uncomfortable rather than move away from the pain. I also call it going on an Insploration Expedition.

These articles are the beginning of an eBook, but I post them as articles to invite feedback ideas, contributions and suggestions. The articles are here: Insploration Expedition and here: Get over it? Or get into it? The Great Processing Debate. Enjoy them, and once you’ve read them, please post your ideas by clicking comments below. Post your ideas about SpeakStrong GPS Interactive below too.

January 27, 2009This Week in the World ~ Transforming anxiety into energy

Transforming Anxiety into Energy

Last week I had the pleasure of seeing a friend I hadn’t seen in years. Sue’s personal and professional lives are unstable these days, and yet she seemed less anxious and more centered than ever before. She credits her recent discovery of yoga for her new found balance.

If I wasn’t already practicing yoga, seeing Sue would be enough to get me to start. But yoga has been a part of my routine for over 30 years. I do have a new addition, however. I found a delightful new way to transform anxiety into energy.

I wanted some kind of free-form exercise, and when Barbara Mc Nichol mentioned NIA dance exercise in her Word Tripper newsletter, I decided to try it. I ordered NIA videos and the fun started as soon as the videos did. Then I added some NIA music CDs to improvise.

I haven’t quite reached the level of joyful abandon the dancers in the videos do, but I’m getting there. When I start out anxious, I end up energized. You can play too. I offer the NIA DVDs and CDs in my SpeakStrong in love store. Check it out.

Word Trippers transform your verbal anxiety
Barbara McNichol has a new eBook called Word Trippers – and for my Boomer readers: no, it’s not a book about words you can trip out on. It’s words that trip the majority of people up and how to know which word to use in any situation. Further? Or Farther? Some ESL groups use PowerPhrases in their classes – and this would be a great addition for the second language students as well as native English speakers. Will it transform writing anxiety into energy? At the very least, it will take the anxiety out of finding the appropriate word.

Everywhere I look I see anxiety…and energy. Coming soon – SpeakStrong GPS Interactive
My son got laid off from the job of his dreams last week. He’s a master web developer. He grieved for a few days and is now energized about all the prospects for new beginnings. I’m impressed. My process takes me longer than that. (And he doesn’t even do NIA…)

One of his prospects is to help me develop a new project – SpeakStrong GPS Interactive. Guided Processing Systems for the conversations you need to have. Or that’s the working title. I look forward to your feedback. It will be a subscription site with interactive processes along the lines of my PowerPhrase Tutorial. Stay tuned, and share your thoughts.

Two new articles about transforming interpersonal anxiety into energy
I talk about SpeakStrong GPS more here in my article Get over it? Or get into it? The Great Processing Debate. It’s the beginning of an eBook, but I’m offering it now as an article to invite your input.  I also have a new article called Insploration Expedition. I’m still developing my brand and want to know what you think.

The Brand Aid process can transform life purpose anxiety into energy
I didn’t get a lot of comments about my Brand Aid article, but the ones I did get were very enthusiastic. I received a call from a minister who insists I teach the process to her ministerial students and that I work it into a life-purpose book. (Insists is a strong word – I use it advisedly.) In her ministry she talks to many people who question whether they’re doing what they came here to do. She says the Brand Aid process will give them the clarity they seek. I will heed her call. Until then, read the article if you haven’t already. It’s written for speakers and trainers but every step applies to business and personal brands.

The Brand Aid process will be one of the processing systems included in SpeakStrong GPS Interactive.

Seeing endings as beginnings transforms anxiety into energy
My All Sides of the Moon song and article talks about cycles and how all endings are also beginnings. I have a new reader discussion/contest about that in the next section of this newsletter.

Transforming Anxiety into Energy: a free eBook from Wendy Mack
Transforming anxiety into energy is a great concept, isn’t it? I use it here with permission from my friend and colleague Wendy Mack. It’s the title of her new free eBook about how leaders can communicate during change to energize their work force. There’s an interview and download of her book Transforming Anxiety into Energy eBook: How to prevent panic and promote productivity in turbulent times here. If you get half the mileage out of it I already have, it’s well worth reviewing. Wendy is a brilliant thinker, teacher and writer.

Reader discussion submission from last week are below. Thanks for your input.

January 27, 2009Reader discussion ~ vote for what if and Meryl’s brand

What if

It was tough to narrow the choices down for voting. Read all the entries here, and add comments if you care to. The winner will get a copy of SpeakStrong. And if you like a comment I didn’t include here, let me know. There were so many great ones.

1. What if you are being aggressive when you should be assertive?
2. What if you’re guarding your heart when you should be giving your heart?
3. What if you’re making excuses when you could be/should be rolling up your sleeves and going to work?
4. What if you’re expecting specific responses/reactions during family time when you should be sitting back & enjoying just being together?
5. What if you are quiet when you should be talking?

Vote here for both surveys.

Meryl’s Brand

And thanks for your amazing contributions about my brand. These entries were longer, so I include excerpts below. Be sure to read the complete entries. It was fascinating to see my work through your wonderful eyes. Also, I will tell you I feel some discomfort with the words “only one who.” Most people do – but it’s important to the process. It’s not that we’re better than anyone else. It’s that we are unique. Read my Brand Aid article here.

“Meryl is the ‘only’ one who…”

1. teaches us to express our will without diminishing our humility.
2. gets to the heart of an issue deeply, quickly, succinctly, and with grace. She helps me see the world in an eloquent way.
3. demonstrates how to strive toward healthy growth.
4. gives you the words in one or more sentences.
5. give feedback for our questions and shares our suggestions.

Vote here for both surveys.

January 27, 2009Reader discussion and contest ~ beginnings from endings

What endings are you experiencing and what beginnings do they allow for? Here’s a possible format for your entry. _____ is ending and _____ is beginning. (My son’s dream job is ending and SpeakStrong GPS Interactive is beginning. You can read more about this line of thinking in my All Sides of the Moon article.)

Go for it – and the winning entry gets a SpeakStrong book as a prize.

January 27, 2009Power Phrase ~ My employees deserve more time.

The word came down suddenly that Joe’s department was cut. He was told that his employees had a half hour to gather their things and leave. He said,

• After so many years of working here, my people deserve more than a half hour to gather their things. Let’s give them two hours.

His manager agreed, and while the transition was still abrupt, the extra time did smooth the blow a bit. (Of course there are sometimes good reasons for a very hasty departure, but often there isn’t.)

January 27, 2009Poison Phrase ~ Julie is so scattered

Julie and her ex husband are still good friends. I finally met him for the first time last week. They had been working on a project together, and he commented on how it took a long time because,
- Julie is so scattered.

Scattered is not a word I would ever associate with Julie. I responded,

• I would call her thorough, and it’s one of the things I love about her.

I said a few more things about Julie’s thoroughness.

Apparently my words sunk in, because later in the day Julie’s ex said,

• There you go, being thorough again.

They laughed about it. Julie commented that she felt put down in much of the marriage, and this incident made her wonder if it was more of a language limitation than negativity or disdain from her ex. She’s planning to continue the process of “Language Replacement Therapy.” There will be a language replacement exercise in SpeakStrong GPS Interactive.

I’d like to say that I’m above and beyond that kind of Poison Phrase, but I’m not. I confess how my path to PowerPhrases is paved in Poison Phrases in my Insploration Expedition article.

January 27, 2009Ask Meryl ~ Dominating peer

Hi Meryl
One of my peers dominates meetings, and when something needs to be done she informs us she will do it, even though it’s my job responsibility. I usually say nothing out of frustration. How can I address this?

Meryl Responds:
Is it possible that some people would appreciate having their work done for them? This is the first time anyone has expressed concern over someone being too helpful… Come from the angle that her volunteering isn’t inherently wrong, it just creates some problems for you.

This calls for a private conversation. Say,

• Name, I notice you volunteer for a lot of projects (tasks) that are actually my responsibility, and I wonder why. Do you consider me incompetent to handle my own job responsibilities? I appreciate your help, but I need to tell you that when you step into my lane, it makes me feel irrelevant. Instead of commandeering my responsibilities, could you ask if I’d like help with those things instead? And I’ll do the same for you.

Adapt it to your situation, but the main point is to seek to understand why she does what she does and be concrete about what you want her to do instead.

And as a PS, if she is as domineering as she sounds, you might need to lay the ground rules before you state your case. Something like,

• Name, there’s something I need to discuss and I’d like five minutes of your time without interruption to tell you what it is. Can you offer me that?

Tell me how it goes!

January 27, 2009(Fictional) Success Story ~ Not so Desperate Housewives

The most recent episode of Desperate Housewives provided a touching illustration of what it looks like to SpeakStrong when people need a little nudging. It tells tale after tale of a handyman who said just the right thing at just the right time to help the characters get past their challenges. The final story showed why he decided to risk involvement rather than stand back when he saw a boat that needed rocking. My husband and I thought it was the best episode ever, and it is a fabulous testament to Speaking Strong.

Watch it here or read the recap here.

January 20, 2009Reader discussion and contest – Brand Aid

Win a copy of my new SpeakStrong book by contributing to my Reader Discussions:

I invite you to post ideas in two new Reader Discussions. You just might with a copy of my new SpeakStrong book. Here is the first one.

1) The last sentence-stem in the Brand Aid Article differentiates you from others. It says, “I am the only one who…” I was refining my own answers to that question and thought – I should ask you what you think.

Please join my discussion and share your input on my SpeakStrong Brand.

In your mind, what differentiates what I do from what others do? There are thousands of communication and life skill newsletters out there. Why are you reading this one? If someone asked you why you read this and you answered, “Meryl is the only one who…” how would you finish the sentence? Please post your answer below.

The second discussion is a what if. Please post your ideas on that here. Thanks.

January 20, 2009Reader discussion and contest – what if?

I once heard Jeffrey Armstrong ask: “What if the biggest problem of the world is we’re talking when we should be singing and we’re walking when we should be dancing?”

And I thought: what if…he’s right? I resolved to get more song and dance into my life. Stay tuned – next week I’ll tell you more about how I did that. But for now, let’s play some more “what if?”

What if you’re…consuming when you could be creating?

…judging when you could be understanding?

…seeing problems when you could be seeing opportunities?

…thinking when you could be feeling?

…writing reports and newsletters when you could be writing poetry?
Please share your “what ifs.” What if you’re ___ when you could (should) be ___ ?

Post your answers by clicking comments below.

I’ll share my favorite responses next week and invite you to vote for your favorites. The winner will receive a free copy of my new SpeakStrong book.

And to enter the Brand-Aid contest/dsicussion by helping me differntialte my brand, click here: Brand Aid Thanks!

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