February 3, 2009Poison Phrase ~ Thanks for the $50. I used it to put the dog to sleep.
Claire is chronically depressed. So she’s not a lot of fun to talk to, but her family remembers it must be even less fun to be her. However, it when Claire’s sister sent her a surprise $50 gift, she was a bit incredulous when Claire said,
- Thanks for the $50. I used it to put the dog to sleep.
Why couldn’t she have used a different $50 to put the dog to sleep?
Some people are way more fun to give gifts to than others. My husband paid for his 85-year old Catholic nun “girlfriend” to attend a weekend retreat, and she was so effusive about her appreciation that he wanted to offer her another one. Other people act like they’re entitled. Too many people don’t acknowledge what they’ve received anymore.
When you receive a gift, think about how you can make the giver glad they gave.
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Well, it’s Calire’s fifty dollar gift, she is entitled to use it any way she wants!
On the other hand, it’s Claire’s sister’s fifty dollar gift to give, she is equally entitled to give it any way she wants.
Poor Clair’s sister. Imagine wanting to assist a depressed family member and to have THAT response to it? If I could tell Claire’s sister anything it might be – next time you wish to give to your sister, consider purchasing a particular item rather than giving her money to use as she personally best sees fit. Maybe a gift certificiate to the local food store, or for a hair style / cut.
Indeed, I LOVE, adore, cherish giving gifts to people. It sincerely is more fun than buying stuff for myself. But it is equally true that I do not give “freely”, nor do I actually ever give money. I know a gentleman who is on a fixed income (it’s fixed ridiculously low) so I purchase items for him anddrop them by. Toilet paper, cat food, some of his favorite junk food chocolate cake he has trouble justifying. If I gave him money, he would likely spend it on similar stuff to what I drop by, but dropping by the stuff just seems more “gifty” to me. And it means I had to go out of my way to think of him when I was doing my own personal shopping.
Is he appreicative? You bet! Five dollars worth of kitchen trash bags yields me a big hug and a profound “thanks, girl!”.
Giving gifts should be fun. If it isn’t, I re-think the gift or the recipient’s understanding of what gift-receiving is.
I hope Claire’s sister continues to help, but I hope in the future she can find a way to do so that might result in more positive feedback.
Comment by kym — February 4, 2009 @ 7:06 pm
At first, the reply sounds like a bummer, but wait. If Claire is really short on cash and the dog was really suffering, I think her sister provided her with a major gift.
Of course, it would have been better to have a little more “lace” around the thank you. “I had no idea how to find the money to release Dog from his suffering. Your gift ended his suffering and, although I will miss him terribly, it has eased my mind a great deal.”
Claire is depressed! This not only effects every moment of her life, but her ability to express herself as well.
I think her sister did a great deal for her and hhope she realizes that the gift went way beyond a new hair style, night out, or a warm sweater.
Nik
Comment by Nik Nikkel — February 5, 2009 @ 10:59 am
I am also a dog lover and think we should not judge based on what is provided here. If she was really depressed and the dog was viewed as a family member and was suffering, and she couldn’t help him except to give this last gift to end his needless suffering then maybe she didn’t express herself well, but it could have been the best gift she could have received. It is never easy saying goodbye to a beloved dog or cat, but it is often the kindest thing we can do for a pet in pain.
As her sister I would know that I had helped her help her dog.
Comment by Terry Zarsky — February 5, 2009 @ 12:51 pm
Oh, come on everyone! Don’t you know you’re supposed to agree with me on everything? Oh, wait, you’re not….
A friend said this story reminds her of when she put her cat to sleep and a week later got a post card thanking her for her business…which she basically read as “Thanks for letting us kill your cat.” I’m thinking the vet might not have thought that one through…
And like the dog story, there are other sides to the cat story… Thanks for your perspectives!
Comment by merylrunion — February 5, 2009 @ 1:20 pm