February 3, 2009PowerPhrase ~ You’ve done everything he’s asked you to do and you’ve done it well. Why wouldn’t he keep piling work on you?
Nora is a skilled professional breaking into a new industry. She accepted an apprenticeship with Ned to get exposure in the field, learn the ropes and get connected. She agreed to less than a living wage to manage Ned’s office while she studied with him.
The situation did not turn out as Nora imagined. While she did learn some things from Ned, the vast majority of her time was spent doing grunt work that did not help her professionally. She was burning out on the work without getting the promised rewards. She spoke to Ned about it, but he kept piling projects on her that did not serve her goals.
Nora was frustrated and angry, but a friend pointed out a very simple reality.
- You’ve done everything he’s asked you to do and you’ve done it well. Why wouldn’t he keep piling work on you?
The lights went on for Nora – she was sending mixed messages. The message Ned received was – “I can get this work done at bargain basement prices. Sure, I might have to listen to Nora complain here and there, but so what?”
Nora’s friend told her just what she needed to hear to understand her own role in the situation – and to choose a different role. Nora asked Ned specifically for what she wanted from him (said what she meant) and she spoke in a way where he knew he had to work with her (she meant what she said.) She was grateful to her friend for speaking to her so clearly.
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This story reminds me of advice I received from my older brother.
I was in a similar situation and was feeling quite disgruntled about it.
My brother’s very succinct yet powerful advice “Don’t let yourself be a victim.”
Comment by Jan Kleinhesselink — February 4, 2009 @ 12:03 pm
I agree with Jan’s brother.
I’m not so sure that working for under a living wage is a good thing to do to oneself, even if the rewards are plenty of “study”.
Now, to be fair, I do not know if Nora is a newly graduated college student or a seasoned citizen like I am. If Nora is twenty-four years old, living at home, has few bills, and sought this job as part of a “plumping up her resume” plan, then maybe working for under a living wage is acceptable to her for the short-term. For most people though, I’d caution against it because it seems like it could be a set-up for being “used”.
Be that as it may, if the job were taken, regardless of pay, how about a few written parameters? What Nora should expect from Ned. What Ned should expect from Nora. Re-visit in thirty days for possible re-negotiation.
That is, in my mind, how one doesn’t set oneself up for victimhood, being taken advantage of.
Comment by kym — February 4, 2009 @ 6:55 pm
[...] bulbs went on for me when I read in your newsletter about how bosses will pile work on as long as employees keep doing everything they ask without complaint or [...]
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