Comments on: Reader discussion ~ Emotional impact http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2009/02/03/reader-discussion-emotional-impact/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Sun, 20 Nov 2011 02:34:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: DLPoff http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2009/02/03/reader-discussion-emotional-impact/comment-page-1/#comment-316715 DLPoff Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:48:21 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/?p=979#comment-316715 When I am especially upset with a co-worker's behavior, I often write out what I would like to say before I try to talk to them, if I can. That gives me the chance to: 1 - Calm down. 2 - "Edit" out inappropriate comments, such as "You're a real jerk, and you make me sick." 3 - Keep on topic better. 4 - Decide whether it is a conversation I even need to have. Sometimes, after writing out what I want to say, I realize that, while the other person might have been at fault, I was overreacting. Still, I agree that you shouldn't completely squelch your emotions at work. I have found a coolly stated "I don't appreciate that remark" can have a great impact. No muss, no fuss. No screaming or tears. Just a calm statement. DLPoff When I am especially upset with a co-worker’s behavior, I often write out what I would like to say before I try to talk to them, if I can. That gives me the chance to:

1 – Calm down.

2 – “Edit” out inappropriate comments, such as “You’re a real jerk, and you make me sick.”

3 – Keep on topic better.

4 – Decide whether it is a conversation I even need to have.

Sometimes, after writing out what I want to say, I realize that, while the other person might have been at fault, I was overreacting.

Still, I agree that you shouldn’t completely squelch your emotions at work. I have found a coolly stated “I don’t appreciate that remark” can have a great impact. No muss, no fuss. No screaming or tears. Just a calm statement.

DLPoff

]]> By: merylrunion http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2009/02/03/reader-discussion-emotional-impact/comment-page-1/#comment-314599 merylrunion Mon, 09 Feb 2009 02:21:22 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/?p=979#comment-314599 Here are some comments from discussion voters. 1.I think it really depends on the person you are talking to. If they hate any kind of emotional display then you are automatically turning them off to your frustration as they will refuse to hear and process your input, being factual at this point is the only way to deal with this personality type. Let them know what outcomes they can expect; like lost productivity and move on and take care of yourself. It can strengthen the message is the person who hears this is willing to accept the feelings as an outcome. Hopefully they will work to avoid causing those feelings in the future. 2."In general" I do believe sharing feelings in dialog is a good thing - it helps others understand you, it helps you understand others. I also believe that discrimination should be used. When dealing with reasonably emotionally healthy people - go for it. Share. When in doubt about the person's reasonableness - I would caution that indeed the reverse is true, that sharing feelings will only give unhealthy people the ammunition they need to further abuse you. So, share your feelings cautiously. What is that saying about "not throwing pearls to pigs"? It's good advice. Throw your pearls only to those you will do more than stomp them into the mud. 3.The challenge is in choosing the right word to convey this emotion. Oftentimes, I find it difficult to find the right language when my energy is caught up with an emotional response. Sometimes I'm unable to articulate it well in my first attempt. Thans for your contributions! Here are some comments from discussion voters.
1.I think it really depends on the person you are talking to. If they hate any kind of emotional display then you are automatically turning them off to your frustration as they will refuse to hear and process your input, being factual at this point is the only way to deal with this personality type. Let them know what outcomes they can expect; like lost productivity and move on and take care of yourself. It can strengthen the message is the person who hears this is willing to accept the feelings as an outcome. Hopefully they will work to avoid causing those feelings in the future.
2.”In general” I do believe sharing feelings in dialog is a good thing – it helps others understand you, it helps you understand others. I also believe that discrimination should be used. When dealing with reasonably emotionally healthy people – go for it. Share. When in doubt about the person’s reasonableness – I would caution that indeed the reverse is true, that sharing feelings will only give unhealthy people the ammunition they need to further abuse you. So, share your feelings cautiously. What is that saying about “not throwing pearls to pigs”? It’s good advice. Throw your pearls only to those you will do more than stomp them into the mud.

3.The challenge is in choosing the right word to convey this emotion. Oftentimes, I find it difficult to find the right language when my energy is caught up with an emotional response. Sometimes I’m unable to articulate it well in my first attempt.

Thans for your contributions!

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