April 21, 2009This Week in the World ~ Denver training, Psyche’s 4th task – saying no
A few seats left for Denver April 30th
Learn to say what you mean and mean what you say without being mean when you say it. Two sessions
SpeakStrong and… The Difference Between Lightning Bugs and Lightning Bolts.
SpeakStrong is about how to have those challenging conversations. Lightning Bugs and Lightning Bolts is about how to speak so people take you seriously. It’s persuasion that doesn’t seep over into manipulation. You can attend one or both sessions. The morning session is almost full, so register immediately if you want to attend that one.
The 4th task – saying no
A few weeks back I mentioned The Myth of Psyche and her four tasks. I emphasized the second task about gathering power. This week I reminded a friend whose life isn’t her own of Psyche’s 4th task – saying “no.” In order to achieve her goal, Psyche had to refuse requests for help from some people in great need. Most people, and particularly women, find that kind of boundary-setting difficult.
Life has a way of testing resolve. If you decide to leave a job that requires you to be unethical, you might find yourself being offered a raise. If you decide to clean up your diet, you’re likely to have someone drop by with your favorite cheesecake. And if you decide, as my friend had, that you need to stop serving others to the detriment of yourself and those closest to you, you are likely to have someone need you in a bigger way than usual.
We all are tested and we all have been tested throughout the ages. Ancient cultures faced the same challenges you, my friend and I face.
Myths exist to help us be heroes and heroines rather than victims.
Skills help us do that too. PowerPhrases! offers a chapter on saying no and SpeakStrong offers several chapters on setting great boundaries. How to Use PowerPhrases shares stories and examples of people who have learned to say no. I just put a package together that includes these three resources. It’s called The Quick Start Communication Transformation BOOK Package.
Article: Back Off, Bully
Some of us need to learn to say “no” to requests. Others need to learn to say no to greed and unsavory opportunities. Then there are times when we need to learn to say no to bullies. I posted an article this week about saying enough and standing up to the bullies in your life. It’s called Back off, Bully! Stand your ground with PowerPhrases.
It will give you a jump start on your boundaries, and my transformation package will take you from there.
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Good article about setting boundaries and being prepared to stand up to people with bullying personalities. It makes me want to set my son aside and work on some communication scripts to better prepare him. The cases of bullying in his school are obviously more juvenile than the examples you give, but if he gets the communication skills and confidence to handle the kids at his school now, then those skills will serve him well through the rest of his life too!
Comment by Kris — April 22, 2009 @ 3:12 pm