June 17, 2009Poison Phrase: Kids and Old People
I finally wrote up some observations from intergenerational communication training that I do. How do the younger workers and older workers collide, and how can they connect?
A couple Poison Phrases emerged from the training. Don’t call younger workers:
-Kids
Even if you mean it endearingly, it pulls rank. And don’t call elder workers:
- Old People.
That slipped out inadvertently several times. Here’s a hint for the Gen Xers and Millennials – Boomers don’t think they’re (we’re) old, They also usually think they’re more with-it than they are. I observed that when a Boomer friend read my new article and said, “Jeepers, I talk more like a Millennial or a Gen Xer.” Jeepers? How many younger workers use Jeepers? Boomers may be deluded – but it doesn’t serve the kids…ahem, I mean the younger workers – to burst our bubble.
Read You Don’t Call Me "Old" and I Don’t Call You "Kid"
Intergenerational Communication in the Workforce
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I am learning about the way young people talk right in my own home. My 19 and 15 year old daughters sometimes conform to my own (late Boomer) way of talking, but when they are on a roll in their own way of talking it can be really challenging. When they see any discomfort or similar reaction to what they are saying – they explain ‘don’t worry, that’s just how we all talk together’. There’s a lot of challenge and honesty – when you get used to this it is really quite refreshing, no pretence about anything. Everyone has a right to an opinion. No respect for teachers who can’t teach or give them what they need to learn and pass exams – but why should they – respect has to be earned and any hint of incongruence is challenged. If I ask them to refrain from doing something – they might say ‘but you do that’. As a teenager I was told to ‘do what I say, not what I do’. I learn more every day.
Comment by Claire — June 19, 2009 @ 2:58 am
I LOVE your comment.
Comment by merylrunion — June 19, 2009 @ 11:45 am
The whole “jeepers” thing is an interesting issue. When I was teaching English composition classes I found that I had to explain a lot of the humor I used. However, once I had the “kids” now had a new tool to understand their elders.
If you know something of the culture and times someone else spent their life in, genuine communication is enabled. As we get older, we are able to see the changes the younger people live in, but they have no way to see our lives unless we share it with them. I used to read the “Little House” books and a whole bunch of books that gave me an understanding of the lingo and lives of people in the mid 1800′s and first half of the 1900s, so I was able to appreciate a lot of humor and how much easier I had it than they did. Knowing a bit of the slang of the times was also helpful.
Unfortunately, the younger people I know just don’t read much and don’t get that cultural background and historical background. Heck, my age peers don’t have it, either.
Neither do they seem to understand that it is important and even fun to understand those things. I don’t know how to educate them, but I think it is an issue to address with generational communications. I did get tired of the eye rolling and sighs, and this type of communication more clearly says “Boy, are you OLD” more than using the word.
We are all standing on the shoulders of giants, and failing to acknowledge that and arrogantly assuming that you are superior because you know computer technology and I don’t causes friction as much as calling them “kids.” Mutual respect is needed, and this should be addressed somehow.
Comment by Sharon — June 21, 2009 @ 5:01 pm
Yes – that’s what comes from the dialogue in the intergenerational training I do. People share their own stories. When the juniors hear their female elders talk about their “bunny pool” designations in their early career days, the younger folks get what it took to create the relative equity we have now. And when the elders hear about the latchkey or structured cultures the juniors grew up in, they start to get the differences there.
My husband and I read the Little House series before bed from start to finish. We haven’t found anything else we like as much. We just might need to read it again.
Comment by merylrunion — June 21, 2009 @ 5:36 pm
Check out “Farmer Boy” as well. It is great.
Comment by Sharon — June 22, 2009 @ 7:38 pm
That’s one of our favorites.
We also read the follow-up books on their daughter Rose Wilder’s life. It does burst some bubbles – Laura comes across much differently than she does in the Little House series. Which brings us back to the core of this discussion – the Gen Xer and Gen Y’s have seen too many images crumble to accept things at face value.
Another thought. My seminars are for professionals, and the companies are interested in retaining their highly skilled younger employees. So these aren’t people who think they should be knighted just for showing up.
Comment by merylrunion — June 22, 2009 @ 9:22 pm