July 15, 2009Detective Mom PowerPhrase updated: I’m okay with that

Filed under: Kids,The PowerPhrase of the Week by merylrunion |

This PowerPhrase post contains a Poison Phrase that irks me, but I’ll start with the part I like. Here’s the dialogue posted by The Detective Mom.

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Kid #1: “You play baseball like a girl!”

(At this point a few random insults were exchanged.)

Kid #2: “You play baseball like…”

Kid #1: “I already said girl! You can’t use that one again!”

Kid #2: (pause) “You play baseball like… him!” (Points at my three-year old)

Kid #1: (pauses to reflect on the insult and then shrugs) “I’m okay with that.”

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Most of us are so programmed to react to intended insults that we don’t pause to consider whether what we’re being accused of is such a bad thing. It take remarkable presence to decide whether we mind the “accusation” or not.

Now, while I very much am aware that males and females have different general aptitudes, I still take issue at the idea that doing something “like a girl” is a horrible insult. Excuse me, would girls insult each other by saying “you communicate your emotions like a boy”? Can you think of any reversal of this situation? And even if you could, I still would protest. What do you think?

UPDATE: Since I first posted this, the Detecitive Mom updated her post to point out that the “play like a girl” comment was good natured – directed at her and ironically referring to the fact that the Detective Mom actually is pretty good in sports. This shows how we can perceive through wounds. What could be a sarcastic put-down and becomes irony and actually a sign of respect once the healing is so complete you can throw out the old barbs with confidence that your intent will be assumed.

Not that those kids thought it out that completely of course. They were just being their good-natured teasing selves. And I was just being my analytic SpeakStrong advocate self until I better understood the context of this expression of a comment that has wounded many in the past. They have compassion and I have a sense of humor and I’ll quit now while there’s a chance that I’m still ahead…