July 28, 2009The Destructive Art of Turning Play Into Work
I had an entertaining read this week: a book called: “What’s Your Poo Telling You.”
Before you tell me I need to get out more, let me tell you that it’s written in such a delightfully entertaining fashion that even if you’ve never wondered about such things, you’ll find yourself wanting to learn everything.
Lighthearted approaches to serious topics enhance learning. That’s one of the reasons my Conflict Management seminar is so popular. We laugh our way through the day – and learn a lot.
My husband and I playfully remind each other to do things. For example, when he forgets to close the closet door, he finds the most interesting things in his jacket pockets. Sure beats nagging. When I don’t put things back in their proper place, I get surprises too.
Turning work into play…and getting results…is delightful art. And turning play into work is a destructive one…and one that we too often apply. I think of a video where Oprah runs on a treadmill affirming how much she hates it every step of the way. I wanted to shake her and suggest she take up NIA. (Note: if you love the treadmill I say go for it. And if you don’t like NIA, don’t push it.)
Turning exercise into work is a loss, but it’s nothing compared to the way people work at relaxing. If you ever learned TM meditation, you know that getting your meditation “checked” is all about making sure you’re not using effort in your practice. You can’t use the sympathetic nervous system to invoke a parasympathetic relaxation response.
Relationships are similar. That’s why whenever I hear the phrase “work on our relationship” it’s a red flag. Yes, relationships do require nurturing and attention and development. But if you consider your relationships work, friends and families become tasks to be dispensed with and problems to be solved. It can be dehumanizing.
A PowerPhrase is as strong as it needs to be and no stronger. Playfulness and lightheartedness create receptivity and soften resistance. Things unfold when you don’t push so hard.
So find a way to add fun to your life this week. And if reading one of my books is part of your agenda, have fun with it.
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so this is why I avoid “working on my relationships” especially when it comes to girlfriends!
But there is an *intentional attention* to relationships that is important – and even if it is done playfully – there is some sort of seriousness to it…because the relationship is important to keep? Does that make sense?
there I go again – thinking outloud on a blog comment! LOL
Comment by Phyllis — July 29, 2009 @ 10:45 am
It’s such a fine line, isn’t it? Because I don’t mean to suggest that we take our relationships for granted. Quite the opposite! It’s just that the alternative to taking relationships for granted isn’t turning them into projects.
Covey has people set relationship and spiritual goals in his planner systems. And I think that can be a good thing – as long as it doesn’t make relationships and spiritual activities a means to an end. Subtle stuff!
Comment by merylrunion — July 29, 2009 @ 11:52 am
An excellent talk on the importance of play is at: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/stuart_brown_says_play_is_more_than_fun_it_s_vital.html
Comment by Lee Beaumont — July 29, 2009 @ 7:16 pm
Thanks Lee. TED is soooo cool. Everything they do is eye-opening.
Comment by merylrunion — July 30, 2009 @ 7:14 am