September 8, 2009Power Phrase: What did you expect?
This PowerPhrase came from a therapist, but it’s very useful whenever someone is complaining about the way things are. Ask,
- What did you expect?
Many of us have idealized or romanticized expectations of people, possibilities etc. and it’s great to uncover them.
Of course foresight is always the best, with the PowerPhrase
- What DO you expect?
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Personally, I would rephrase the power phrase, “What did you expect?” When I read this, I immediately visualized two disgruntled employees complaining about this-or-that and one saying, “Well, what did you expect?” (spoken in a “smarmy” way). I think I would opt for a statement such as “What would you have preferred?” or “What would you envision?”… something that would spark a conversation versus fueling the “complaining fire”.
Comment by Judy — September 9, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Yes, Judy, your point is very well taken. All phrases can have a completely different impact in different situations and when spoken in different tones. This one is particularly delicate. I stand by it when spoken in genuine inquiry, but any lack of trust can come across as loaded with implications. In that case, I agree your phrases are more appropriate.
Comment by merylrunion — September 13, 2009 @ 1:59 pm