September 8, 2009Father in “Luann” comics uses brilliant metaphor
Today’s Luann strip has the father using metaphor in a brilliant way with Luann’s brother Brad. He says,
- Remember when you were little you so wanted to ride the roller coaster but you were terrified? Love’s exactly like that.
Do you suppose Brad understood what he was saying? His father’s words painted a vibrant picture for him. How can you paint more pictures when you write and speak?
September 8, 2009PowerPhrase: What do you mean by that?
I recently posted some responses for inappropriate questions. This week, I heard another one that I like quite well. It’s simply to ask,
- What did you mean by that?
Asked in a straightforward manner, it provides a mirror for any kind of unconscious communication, and that mirror makes it conscious. It holds them accountable without being hostile, parental or attacking.
If the intent was conscious hostility and their response makes that clear, at least you know what you’re dealing with.
September 8, 2009Why “Saintly Patience” is better than “Patience of a Saint”
I mentioned in an email to a client that one of his receptionists has the “Patience of a Saint.” It didn’t sit quite right with me, because I find that any use of cliche makes us go a bit unconscious. We think we know what they mean and don’t think about the implications.
When you change a cliche even slightly, it gets the attention and gets us to actually hear what is being said in ways we are more likely to miss when spoken in its usual form. That’s why
- Saintly patience
is more powerful than the patience of a saint.
When you find yourself giving voice to cliches, alter them just a bit. It give them fresh, new meaning.
September 8, 2009Poison Phrase: Will power
Many of my friends are reaching a point where they can’t push themselves like they once did. One friend is experiencing severe back pain. When my hubby asked her what she was using for it, she said,
- Will power.
I reached a point a few years back that I see many of my younger friends flirt with now – a point where they can’t power through everything like they once did. They need to work with their bodies, kids, creativity and reality in general and are not able to override as they once did.You can only live on borrowed money, others’ good will and adrenaline so long.
Will power is mind over matter. Eventually matter fights back. It usually works better to listen to matter before she fights back with a vengeance. It’s good to adjust while you still have savings, trust and your adrenals.
It can take a lot of will power to stop using will power to make everything happen the way you think it should right away. That use of
- will power
is a PowerPhrase, not a Poison Phrase.
September 8, 2009Power Phrase: What did you expect?
This PowerPhrase came from a therapist, but it’s very useful whenever someone is complaining about the way things are. Ask,
- What did you expect?
Many of us have idealized or romanticized expectations of people, possibilities etc. and it’s great to uncover them.
Of course foresight is always the best, with the PowerPhrase
- What DO you expect?
September 6, 2009PowerPhrase: Your employees are priority, not distraction
At a recent performance management training, the HR director said,
- We need the managers to shift into regarding employees as a priority, not a distraction.
It’s easy in the hubbub of a busy day to regard requests for information and support from the people we manage to be something that takes us away from what we “should” be doing. This quote reshifted the priority in a beautiful way.
September 6, 2009Power Phrase to show your power before you use it
Are you ready to quit your job, dump a friend or fire a client? Let them know you are willing to walk away before you do it. Your PowerPhrase is:
- Unless this changes, I will…
Kathy recently fired one of her best clients because of how difficult the managers there were to work with. When she broke the news, they were stunned. They also became ready to meet her requirements (all of which were reasonable.)
She also discovered that her willingness to walk away gave her liason in HR leverage when working with the managers.
Sometimes people don’t hear what you need until they are faced with the prospect of losing the relationship. There’s a lot of power in being willing to walk away. Just make sure you show your power before you use it.
September 6, 2009Lucy’s football, metaphors and expectations management
There’s something about metaphors and analogies that clarify perceptions and ideas. My husband uses them in his heath care practice, with illustrations like, “taking too little of a supplement and then claiming it doesn’t work is like pouring a glass of water on a forest fire and blaming the water for not working.” Makes the point, doesn’t it?
My friend and I created a metaphor about relying on people who don’t have good follow-through. We say it’s like Lucy’s football. She would hold the football for Charlie Brown, he’d gear up to kick it, and she’d pull the football.
We did adapt the metaphor a bit. Lucy was malicious in her antics. The people who leave us hanging aren’t malicious, they’re distracted. But you know what? The end result is the same. After landing on our behinds trying to kick a ball that wasn’t there, we become hesitant in our approach. We always wonder whether the ball will be there when we land our kick.
It’s called expectations management. Since people base their action on what we lead them to believe we will do, it’s important that we create accurate expectations. Some auditors tell me their motto is to say what they’ll do and to do what they say. Their word is their bond. Funny, isn’t it, that doing that is enough of a rarity that it makes them stand out in a crowd? We need fewer Lucys and more good expectation managers.
September 6, 2009With the daily news network good deeds lead. @geriwc
There’s something quite wonderful about a news service dedicated to good news. The Good News Network is just that. While a balance in life is essential, since mainstream news is “if it bleeds it leads,” it’s refreshing to have something based on the idea, “the good deed leads.” It’s your daily dose of good news.
What a great service, and fun to provide!
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Related posts which may interest you
- This Week in the World ~ People House
- Reader Success Story ~ Courage, fear and priorities
- SpeakStrong Reader Question: Responding to discouraging job search questions
- Got a radio gig from twitter. http://acloserlookradio.com/ So that’s what my social media coach @phylliskhare was talking about.
- This Week in the World ~ Didgeridoo
September 6, 2009“Geography of a Woman” is both refreshing and tainted
I received an email about the “geography of a woman” that is refreshing in the way it frames every age group of women in a positive, appreciative way. Living in a world that only seems to value perpetual youth, it’s nice to be reminded that each age has its own beauty.
Then it applies the same format to men, and basically reduces maleness to its lowest common denominator.
Yes, its amusing – but just because women have traditionally been viewed in limited ways doesn’t mean that it’s useful or justified to do the same to men now that women have expanded our scope. Poison is poison no matter who promotes it.
The post is below.
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages….
An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts.
Update: There are less gracious versions circulating the internet. I’m glad I saw the more positive version first!
