Comments on: Poison Phrase: You do not LOOK sick

By: Sharon

Sharon — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:14:38 +0000

This depends greatly on who said that. If it is a family member who is expressing doubt that you have an actual illness, which happens far too frequently, then a different type of response is needed. It is time to explore why this individual does not accept your illness, and decide if it is worthwhile to keep that person involved in your life. Far too often, it is better for the person with the illness to eliminate the toxic family member from their life.

One good resource is to look up the “Spoons” and “chronic illness” http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/.Christine Miseriandino wrote it.

By: Kelly Eveleth

Kelly Eveleth — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:43:34 +0000

Thank you for this post. I am one of the 3 with chronic fatigue with immune dysfunction and fibromyalgia. I really like, “Thanks, it did take a bit of effort, and I’m really so happy I came.”

Another response I share with a smile is, “When I’m feeling good, I make the most of my day. Stop by my house for an unexpected visit and you may see a different person having a different kind of day.”

Kelly J Eveleth

By: Kelly Graham

Kelly Graham — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:26:34 +0000

Learned it from the best, my friend!

By: merylrunion

merylrunion — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:56:57 +0000

Kelly, why do I even try to come up with PowerPhrases without consulting you first?

By: Kelly Graham

Kelly Graham — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:45:33 +0000

A couple of thoughts, the first along the lines of interpreting “Well you don’t look sick” as a compliment: “You’re kind to say that” OR “Thanks, it did take a bit of effort, and I’m so happy to be here.”

Re: deflecting it with humor: “Ah, my disguise must be working!” OR (with a smile), “Great, I’ve fooled another person!”

In my personal experience, I am, in fact, one of those persons described in the question: I live with chronic pain and generally it’s very well hidden. Very recently I found it necessary to get a handicapped parking tag because of joint deterioration from injuries sustained when I was 17. I use the handicapped tag only when absolutely necessary, and I have prepared myself in case someone makes a comment. My answer is: “Well, I COULD show you my scars, but we really don’t know each other that well!”

Thanks!