November 2, 2009It’s not a man’s world out there anymore – MP3

Filed under: This Week in the World by merylrunion |

It’s not a man’s world out there anymore. The sands of gender communication are shifting.

Last week I was a guest speaker for a Genderly Speaking teleseminar. It was fun – and satisfying to be able to talk about some ideas I’ve held for a long time that people now seem to be able to hear.

Ideas like any kind of woman’s empowerment that doesn’t include valuing qualities and traits that have been considered “women’s characteristics” such as cooperation, collaboration, and relationship, are still judging the competence of a liberated person by conventional masculine criteria. As Dan Perkins writes, “feminine characteristics are subtly depreciated and devalued so that women are encouraged to be “imitation men.”

Now feminine communication traits are increasingly not only “tolerated” but are in demand. And just as women had to develop their (our) masculine qualities and communication skills 30 years ago, men are challenged to develop their feminine qualities and communication skills now. It’s not really “payback time,” because the need is for men to develop these skills without becoming “imitation women.” We are all different blends of masculine and feminine characteristics and communication skills. We all need to SpeakStrong, Smart AND Sweet – with the mix that draws on our true natures and inherent skills.

Even author and management consultant David Noer is writing about managers’ needs to reflect feelings, listen empathetically and be caring and non-judgmental.

“The real role of managers in the new paradigm is helping . . . No one likes to be directed, organized, coordinated, or controlled . . . Level 2 interventions requires helping, empowering, coaching, and listening skills.”

“Today’s leaders must be interpersonally competent in order to establish authentic employee relationships, facilitate meaning, and provide direction. The basic helping skills that make up interpersonal competence include the ability to give and receive feedback in ways that are constructive and remove defensiveness, empathetic listening skills, the ability to reflect feelings, and the ability to confront others in a caring and nonjudgmental manner.”

The challenge of adjusting isn’t strictly for men. For example, I’ve had two male and two female editors for my books. I liked the women just fine, but the men were/are more personal, warm and fuzzy and fun to work with. The men have been more receptive to my ideas, which has resulted in more ideas.

Listen to the MP3 of our shifting sands gender conversation. Also, review my new blog called TheSecretLastLaugh.com It examines cosmic ironies, feminine interiority and fun.