January 14, 2010“Rankism:” A new favorite word. And unfavorite practice.
My friend Evan told me about the word “rankism” today. Here’s what wikipedia says about it.
Rankism is a term coined by physicist, educator, and citizen diplomat Robert W. Fuller. Fuller has defined rankism as: “abusive, discriminatory, or exploitative behavior towards people who have less power because of their lower rank in a particular hierarchy”[1]. Fuller claims that rankism also describes the abuse of the power inherent in superior rank, with the view that rank-based abuse underlies many other phenomena such as bullying, racism, sexism, and homophobia.
What an interesting perspective! Like other biases, it can be so subtle we don’t see it. Or so pronounced we think it’s a given.
January 13, 2010Losing my preachiness with a manuscript do-over
Do you ewer wish you could have a do-over and say things in a new and different way? I have that opportunity. I’m rewriting my Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors book. I’m tightening the writing and changing the tone. There are some places and ways where I’ve needed to loose some preachiness.
Life is a lot more fun in the game than it is passing judgment from the sidelines. Language reveals which you’re doing. Read more about it here.
January 12, 2010MBTS: Management by throwing spaghetti at the wall
Management authors and consultants are apt to name and define new management styles such as MBO: Management by Objective, and MBWA: Management by Walking Around. I have my own style. I call it MBTS. That’s Management by Throwing Spaghetti at the Wall.
First you throw ideas out to see what sticks, and what associates do with the ideas. You don’t tell them what you want because you don’t know until you see what sticks to the wall. That tells you what spaghetti to throw at it next. Eventually the projects get defined.
Some associates love it and others… well… they find it maddening. They prefer to start with a recipe – with a concrete list of action steps. You’ll get to those lists eventually once you’ve sorted the spaghetti. And it will be a much better list than you would have if you started in a linear fashion.
Stephen Covey would call it cultivating synergy. I call it reciprocal engagement. Whatever it is, it requires a good level of comfort with ambiguity. And whatever it is, it works really well… if you can stand it.
January 12, 2010Dewey the Library Cat catalyzes communication. Don’t dismiss the fluff.
My husband and I are reading and enjoying Dewey: The Small Town Cat Who Touched the World.
The book is ostensibly about a somewhat remarkable cat that lived in an Iowa library. But it’s also about the pleasures and the trials and tribulations of Midwestern life and of the author, Vicki Myron. Dewey provides a doorway into the mind and heart of a cancer survivor. He provides a lot of doorways.
Animals can be amazing communication catalysts. And some of the most meaningful conversations we have can spring from seeming fluff. Pardon my pun, but it’s true. If you’re too quick to dismiss the fluff, you might miss the depth.
January 12, 2010reader question about coworkers who abuse sick leave
Meryl,
How would you go about addressing an issue regarding your co-workers abusing vacation and sick leave time? Two of my co-workers use and abuse their leave as soon as they earn it. My Administrator does not seem to want to address this issue and it is causing low morale for those of us who are at work every day and get stuck handling additional responsibilities.
Suggestion,
You use the word abuse to describe what your coworkers do. Do you think they would agree with your word choice? I’m not there, but I suspect they might choose a different word like… oh …say enjoy.
Your coworker might be slackers who are gaming the system at everyone else’s expense. Or they might be people who like their time off and have different assumptions about what leave time is for. They might think everyone should use the time like they do and be happy to reciprocate covering for when their colleagues leave.
So instead of abuser/victim language, talk about it in terms of needing to operate under the same understanding of what the time is for. Your administrator might be more willing to address the issue if it’s framed without accusation. Something like this:
- Most of us see vacation time as something we plan in advance so our co-workers can arrange to cover for us. We see sick time as being for when we’re really ill. Some of us operate under a different mindset, and it’s creating low morale for those who feel overloaded when our collegues take off. Can we collaborate and clarify our policies around time-off so we can minimize surprises and all enjoy our days away without guilt or disharmony?
Again, since I don’t know the situation, this might not apply – but do let me know.
January 12, 2010Poison Phrase: Teacheable Moment
The term:
- teachable moment
…made the list of words to lose in 2010. I had just used it in a book proposal. Even as I wrote it, I had a sense of it not being quite right. The article about words to lose called it condescending. Why? Because it’s parental. It implies authoritarian superiority. SpeakStrong blog commenter Sharon suggested the term:
- Educational moment
That term implies learning goes both ways. Our vocabulary needs to change as we lose our authoritarian model of management communication.
January 12, 2010PowerPhrase: I’m checking in on you, not checking up on you
Managers sometimes find employees resist their involvement, thinking they are checking up on them. Here’s a phrase I like:
• I’m here, not to check up on you, but to check in with you.
January 12, 2010Dumping and Preaching are not Speaking Strong
One of my friends posted on social media about how sometimes you need to stand for truth and slay dragons. Her tone sounded militant and I figured there was a story behind her post. Several days later I happened to speak with the “dragon” she slayed. He was devastated.
Speaking Strong isn’t dumping on someone and feeling empowered. It’s also not self-righteous preaching. When people don’t speak up for a while, they often let it out in one below-the-belt attack that leaves them feeling relieved and the recipient either feeling revengeful or devastated. Or both. We’ve all done it.
That’s why it’s important to address the small stuff before it becomes big stuff.
It keeps us from getting preachy. I know the more I clear as I go, the less I need to dump and the less preachy I become.
But there’s a bigger story than that. Clearing as you go means connecting and relating as you go. It means being authentic. It’s a quieter, more graceful empowerment.
And that is an experience worth having.
Read my latest article, Losing my Preachiness.
January 1, 2010Success Story – Brand-Aid – eight steps to clarity
If you’re looking to clarify your brand – your self-definition, identity and message, Brand-Aid is a useful tool. And one blogger writes about how she put it into action here.
I seem to be rebranding myself and am pleased to be reminded of my own tools! Check it out.
January 1, 2010A personal touch took the sting out of a rejection letter
Sure, it was a rejection letter. But the fact that it was hand-written and encouraging took the sting out of it. It said,
“Dear Kris,
I enjoyed reading this very much. It’s definitely publishable, though I regret that it’s not right for us at this time. We take on very few projects for the middle grades.
Best of luck in finding the right publisher.”
I remember a friend whose response to rejection letters was,
- One no closer to a yes.
The handwritten rejection letter that Kris received certainly makes it easier to believe that’s true.
