March 15, 2010Luann comic dialogue: generational brash and boldness or honesty?
Is it generational brash and boldness or honesty? I showed a recent Luann comic strip to seminar participants and the opinions were as diverse as the people in the room.
In the Luann episode, Toni meets Brad’s mom Nancy to shop and bond. When Toni shows up late with an apology and an explanation of how heavy the traffic was, Brad’s mom notes that traffic is always heavy that time of day. Toni comments,
“Right. I should have started earlier. Deduct a point for tardiness.”
Nancy states that it isn’t some kind of test, but Toni mentally reflects that it is.
Is Toni’s comment about points generational brash and boldness, or honesty? Is Nancy’s response about it being a test generational inauthenticity, gracefulness or honesty?
In my intergenerational training, we address these questions when intergenerational miscommunication arises. What seems like a simple observation to some can sound like a hideous affront to others.
The first step to resolution is to recognize these differences and not assume our interpretation of the facts is the accurate one.
The second step is to acknowledge the other person’s perspective to the best of our ability. Toni could say,
- Mrs. Degroot, if I were in your shoes, I would want to know my son’s girlfriend was worthy of him.
Nancy could say,
- Toni, this isn’t a test, and I apologize if I’m making it seem like one. I’m protective of my son and having trouble letting go.
The third step would be for both parties to continue to address the shared awkwardness without negating the other’s position.
How would you have them respond to each other?
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I would almost expect a more accurate response from Nancy to be something like, “Toni, we still don’t know each other very well. So, although everything you do and say is automatically sorted based on my own values, I am not testing you. I just need more personal experience with you to better understand who you are as a person.”
Comment by Ken Rhodes — April 9, 2010 @ 12:11 pm