March 15, 2010PowerPhrases for phone calls and texting popular with the 3 yr old crowd
When I wrote about addressing cell phone use and texting during meetings and video conferences in my phrase books. I had no idea that 3 year-olds would be having those conversations. The Detective Mom tells of how her youngest son spoke strong while playing school about the electronic interruptions.
You can read about it here. School is now in session.
March 12, 2010Coaching alchemy proves the shortest distance isn’t always a straight line.
She fired the coach who led her in a straight line. She hired the one who meandered with her. The shortest distance between two points isn’t always a straight line.
Communication alchemy can take you interesting places. My colleague discovered this when she worked with a business coach who uses a partnership approach. Other coaches forced their agendas and insisted she fit into their processes. This one let the agenda unfold and adapted the processes to her interests and enthusiasm. Instead of going down a straight road to a predetermined destination, they meandered where each moment took them and ended up in places that surprised and delighted them both.
The shortest distance between two points isn’t always a straight line.
The shortest distance between two points isn’t always the best route.
Sometimes it is great to get where we’re going directly. Sometimes we need to meander.
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Related posts which may interest you
- Success Story: energy at work by noting interests
- Reader success story: I’m doing my job by asking you to do yours.
- Talking to Teens
- This Week in the World ~ Top of the World
- Got a radio gig from twitter. http://acloserlookradio.com/ So that’s what my social media coach @phylliskhare was talking about.
March 9, 2010Nurses and patients use PowerPhrases to stop death by hierarchy
When Dr. Peter J. Pronovost of Johns Hopkins Hospital told staff,
- Doctors, we know you’re busy and sometimes forget to wash your hands. So nurses, you are to make sure the doctors do it. And if they don’t, you are empowered to stop takeoff on a procedure.
he thought he’d started WWIII. The nurses said it wasn’t their job to monitor doctors; the doctors said no nurse was going to stop takeoff. He said,
- Doctors, we know we’re not perfect, and we can forget important safety measures. And nurses, how could you permit a doctor to start if they haven’t washed their hands?
He continued with the offer that nurses could page him day or night and he would back them up. Infection rates dropped dramatically.
Pronovost went on to comment that every hospital has fallen prey to “death by hierarchy.”
I list eight reasons why people don’t speak up. Misplaced respect for authority is one. In hospitals, that can translate into death by hierarchy.
March 9, 2010“Crowd-sourcing” request for input on the SpeakStrong Website
Are you familiar with the term “crowd-sourcing”? It refers to putting out an open call for input to non-employees. The New Dynamics of Communication are inclusive and synocratic, and crowd-sourcing is one feature of that.
Months ago I put out an open call to ask what readers see as my unique contribution. I received many wonderful posts. Last week that thread was picked up again. The comments touched my heart.
Now I’m in the process of reorganizing my web sites and invite your input. When you visit my site, what is your experience like? What is your favorite feature? Do you find what you’re looking for? Are there sources of frustration for you? Is there something you’re looking for that you can’t find?
Are there services you’d like me to offer that aren’t there?
If you’ve ordered or started to place an order on the site, is there anything about the shopping cart you recommend we change?
In summary, my question is: how can I serve you better?
Send your input via the blog, or email me here.
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- This Week: Don’t just talk about the bad stuff
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March 8, 2010Oscar Power and Poison Phrases
Sandra Bullock won kudos with her Oscar acceptance speech that could be summarized with her comment,
- I have so many people to thank for my good fortune in this lifetime.
Her speech was what I call Gracertive.
Another winner started her acceptance speech with:
- First I would like to thank the Academy for showing it can be about the performance and not the politics.
I later read that this actor hadn’t lobbied to win, and surmised that might be what she was referring to. But not knowing that, the comment sounded dismissive of the other candidates, implying that the only reason one of them might have won would have been political. I found the wording to lack some grace, particularly considering that many viewers would not know about the politics that inform this actor’s words.
March 8, 2010Poison Phrase: Drive traffic to your site
The New Dynamics of Communication are going from heavy sell and pressure to magnetic attraction. The language doesn’t always stay current with the reality, however. Phrases like,
- Drive traffic to your website
reflect an old-style thinking and communicating. Instead, we want to
Attract website visitors. I hope this post attracts a few to mine.
March 5, 2010Line cutting PowerPhrase proves Speaking Strong is contagious
Crucial Conversations’ Kerry Patterson reported on a confrontation experiment that proved that when people get the words to graciously address issues, they are far more likely to speak up.
It was a line-cutting experiment where a researcher cut line to see if people confronted the offender. No one did. Then they repeated the experiment with another researcher planted in line who confronted the infraction harshly. The line-cutter apologized and went to the back of the line. They followed this with yet another line-cutting researcher to see if anyone would follow the example of the person who addressed the issue. No one spoke up.
In a final experiment, they had a researcher planted in line who was graciously assertive when another researcher cut line. He said,
- I’m sorry. Perhaps you’re unaware. We’ve been standing in line for over fifteen minutes.
The line cutter apologized and went to the back of the line. This was followed by another researcher cutting line. 85% of the time, those who observed a gracious confrontation politely yet firmly addressed a subsequent line-cutter.
Thanks to Kerry Patterson and his team for demonstrating what my SpeakStrong community and I have known. When we get the words to say what we mean and mean what we say without being mean when we say it, we become empowered to speak up.
Be sure to read the post. Like all Kerry’s posts, it’s insightful and interesting. I was thrilled to discover it.
March 5, 2010Even in high drama, word choice matters. Poison Phrase, I lost my son
Word considerations seem insignificant in the high drama of Kerry Patterson’s confessional tale about leaving his baby in a store, but he does note that he was careful about not saying anything that would land him in jail. When he returned to the store and found employees cooing over his baby, instead of saying,
- I lost my son,
he noted,
- You found my son.Thank-you, thank-you.
That did take the edge off the situation by focusing on the positive.
You can read the whole sweet story here.
March 2, 2010Poison Phrase: How cheap can you go?
Some people are fun to work with and it’s almost an honor to accommodate their tight budgets. Others seem to slime vendors just by asking. A client asked a friend,
- How cheap can you go on this?
He angrily replied,
- How cheap are you?
Of course that signals the message “I’m the kind of person who goes cheap.” Who likes that? But wording like,
- Can you work with me on the price?
signals a message, “I’m the kind of person who works with people.” That feels so much better!
March 2, 2010PowerPhrase: Let me give you gas money
Our neighbor loves his snow plow, so we regularly get plowed out before the snow even stops. We love that. Instead of asking our beneficiary if he could pay him for plowing, my husband said,
- Let me give you $20 for gas.
Now, there’s no way our little driveway took that much gas. But had Bob offered to pay, it would have diminished the magnanimousness of the neighbor’s service. By considering it gas money, he could still tell himself, “I’m the kind of guy who helps his neighbor.” Which, of course, he is. And we’re the kind of people who like to show our appreciation. It’s all in how we think about things.
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Related posts which may interest you
- The competition is getting younger, but this is ridiculous.
- Reader Question ~ No bonuses this year: Performance evaluation question
- HBR post nails the need to consider image in choosing words and Speaking Strong
- This Week in the World: What would you like to know about how to talk to your political opposite?
- Poison Phrase: Are you afraid to drive on ice and snow?
