April 20, 2010@getstoried PowerPhrase: Who controls this story?
In the brilliant Michael Margolis post You Can’t Change Something You Hate, Michael recommends asking,
- Who controls this story?
He says,
“In any given situation, a dominant story already exists. Who controls this story? It might be your biggest competitor, a recognized adversary, or the established social norm. You need to crack the existing code before you can socialize your own story into reality.”
Michael is a story telling expert. I suggest you use this phrase to take charge of your communication. Notice if someone else is controlling your story when you speak.
- I can’t be happy because they…
or anything similar puts someone else front and center stage. Even if you’re against something, you are still defined by it. Be it the competition or the person who doesn’t respect you or the patriarchy or the government, unhook from letting others control your story. Make your story YOUR story. A YOU original.
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Thanks for commenting on my blog post. I love what you’re teaching and exploring here.
It so much easier to complain about the old story instead of just living the new story.
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. –Henry David Thoreau
Comment by Michael Margolis — April 21, 2010 @ 8:24 am
Oh, Michael, I’m taking issue with you again – but only really to add nuance that I expect you’ll agree with. Once you leaver the old story and live the new one, the old story seems hard!
I made a HUGE mistake that I’m running damage control on now. Expensive. And I’m so tempted to slip into the old story about what it says about me. It’s so much easier to take care of it and move on.
Comment by merylrunion — April 23, 2010 @ 12:08 pm
[...] time to hate. One is that our hatred causes us to be defined by the person we hate. That makes them the master of our story instead of us being the master of our own stories.There’s incentive enough for [...]
Pingback by PowerPhrase: I don’t have time to hate… an emotional map | A PowerPhrase a Week — May 3, 2010 @ 10:24 am