Comments on: Poison Phrase: I want you to… http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2010/04/26/poison-phrase-i-want-you-to/ By Meryl Runion and SpeakStrong, Inc. Sun, 20 Nov 2011 02:34:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Ash http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2010/04/26/poison-phrase-i-want-you-to/comment-page-1/#comment-455248 Ash Sat, 01 May 2010 19:52:23 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/?p=2431#comment-455248 Good points Meryl and Anita! This reminds me of one of Meryl's new communication dynamics that talks about creating an environment of democratic/synergistic communication where we are all on a sort of team together, communicating together. I know I'm creating a bit of intrigue here, and we'll have to stay tuned to learn more....but yes! I agree that strong, well thought out suggestions are more powerful than commands. Good points Meryl and Anita! This reminds me of one of Meryl’s new communication dynamics that talks about creating an environment of democratic/synergistic communication where we are all on a sort of team together, communicating together. I know I’m creating a bit of intrigue here, and we’ll have to stay tuned to learn more….but yes! I agree that strong, well thought out suggestions are more powerful than commands.

]]> By: merylrunion http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2010/04/26/poison-phrase-i-want-you-to/comment-page-1/#comment-455228 merylrunion Tue, 27 Apr 2010 15:03:18 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/?p=2431#comment-455228 Good point, Anita! NLP and hypnosis deal directly with the subconscious and so they are very deliberate about wording. And they are healing modalities, so they seek the best interests of the listener. Marketing also deals directly with the subconscious and is often not so benign. Training is another story. Phrases can "work" by subtly undermining the power of the listener or by empowering them. I found the "I want you to" phrase would work in the sense that it got people to take action I wanted. Sometimes the action probably was for their well being. But even if I was directing them to a good thing, I can't justify doing it in a way that is subtly manipulative and disempowering. I agree, NLP is a great place to learn subtle language distinctions. Your suggestions are good. Even simply saying "try this with your boss" is less intrusive because it doesn't imply that they should do it because I want them to. Good point, Anita!

NLP and hypnosis deal directly with the subconscious and so they are very deliberate about wording. And they are healing modalities, so they seek the best interests of the listener.

Marketing also deals directly with the subconscious and is often not so benign.

Training is another story. Phrases can “work” by subtly undermining the power of the listener or by empowering them. I found the “I want you to” phrase would work in the sense that it got people to take action I wanted. Sometimes the action probably was for their well being. But even if I was directing them to a good thing, I can’t justify doing it in a way that is subtly manipulative and disempowering.

I agree, NLP is a great place to learn subtle language distinctions. Your suggestions are good. Even simply saying “try this with your boss” is less intrusive because it doesn’t imply that they should do it because I want them to.

]]> By: Anita http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2010/04/26/poison-phrase-i-want-you-to/comment-page-1/#comment-455227 Anita Tue, 27 Apr 2010 09:10:56 +0000 http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/?p=2431#comment-455227 I've become very interested in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), which investigates different methods of communication. Instead of using direct commands, which can arouse resistance and rebellion in other people, NLP practitioners use suggestions to guide people towards a particular outcome. For example, instead of 'I want you to try this with your boss', they would say something like, 'You may wish to try this with you boss'. This leaves the trainee feeling in control, whilst still giving them a strong directive to take action. I’ve become very interested in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), which investigates different methods of communication. Instead of using direct commands, which can arouse resistance and rebellion in other people, NLP practitioners use suggestions to guide people towards a particular outcome. For example, instead of ‘I want you to try this with your boss’, they would say something like, ‘You may wish to try this with you boss’. This leaves the trainee feeling in control, whilst still giving them a strong directive to take action.

]]>