June 30, 2010The IAAP is having a PowerPhrases Giraffle in Boston
What do you call it when you have a drawing for a cute stuffed Pippin Giraffe that you enter by suggesting PowerPhrases?
Why, a
-
-
- Giraffle
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of course.
Susan Fenner, IAAP’s Education and Professional Development Manager came up with the idea.
And it made me wonder why they need me to teach PowerPhrases when they have her.
June 30, 2010Success Story in Progress#4: when the Paved Road crumbles, other interesting road appear
When the Paved Road crumbles, other interesting roads appear.
Barbara led me to Mark who led me to Nettie who led me to Hampton who led me to Marti who led me to David who led me to his Pub board who is sending me an offer this afternoon. I got off the phone wondering, could it really be this easy? I have reason to believe that it really might be.
When I started writing my When the Paved Road Crumbles song, I had faith that I would find new opportunities that would make my recent set-back one of the best things that happened in my career. Now I write from faith reinforced by experience. I find new opportunities daily. The Paved Road has its advantages, but so do the creatively alchemical ones. I’m enjoying the view.
A lot of us are going through major changes. I share my journey in part for those who haven’t seen the glimmer of the new path yet. It’s there. You might need to travel a number of roads before you find the one that fits. That’s where faith, creativity and persistence come in.
June 29, 2010Dynamic dignity, corporate ignominy#4: Even my IPod says good-bye Part A
Here’s how I found out it was over. A trainer called to ask if she could buy PowerPhrases from me directly since The Company That Must Not Be Named isn’t carrying it anymore.
Fascinating. Did they decide this before or after I printed 15K books based on their projections? And after 13 years, why do I find out from someone I don’t know? I called to find out. I started by mentioning the call I received.
-”She better not have been planning to sell them at seminars. She’ll be fired if she did.”
Um, you kind of missed the point of my call. why didn’t you tell me so I could start figuring out how to move the books I printed based on your specs?
“We don’t share proprietary information with vendors. We just let them figure it out when they don’t get orders anymore.”
Even my IPOD says good-bye. And we haven’t known each other nearly as long.
Stay tuned for part B when I tell you the precedent which suggests perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised.
June 28, 2010PowerPhrase for a complainer: let me tell you how I respond when I hear you complain. A part of me wants to…
We all need to complain at times. I can lend an ear for a while, but there comes a point when I need to say something. If you feel that way too, you might find this PowerPhrase useful.
- Let me tell you how I respond when you complain. A part of me wants to take care of you because you sound like a helpless victim. Another part of me wants to shake you because I know you’re not. I don’t enjoy either response and invite you to gather your resources and tell me what you want or what you’re going to do about the situation.
June 28, 2010The “What Can I Help You Say Today” Show – audition on Oprah is up
Sunshine sent me an email about her audition for a show on Oprah’s new OWN Network on Friday. Saturday I crested a video audition of my own. I thought it didn’t go through, but it did. I’d love your vote for my “What Can I Help You Say Today” show.
It’s about finding the perfect words for life’s challenging conversations. Like – how do you tell someone they smell bad? How do you get someone to get the help they need? And how do you turn defensive, adversarial conversations into collaborative ones?
Vote early and often – or at least just early.
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Related posts which may interest you
- Oprah’s audition questionnaire – an inner interview. But do we have to expect to win to play?
- Tips to handle employees who resist feedback
- PowerPhrase: You Have a Choice
- Non-adversarial come-backs to sarcasm that elevate conversations
- A few tickets left for my how to stop gossip webinar with McGraw HIll
June 28, 2010Oprah’s audition questionnaire – an inner interview. But do we have to expect to win to play?
In case you haven’t heard, Oprah is creating her own network and has a competition for people to win their own show. The audition questionnaire was really something. It took a half hour to complete, and included more questions about how I handle anger and what high school was like for me than about accomplishments. I’d love to know how they use the information.
There was one question that gave me pause.
- Why do you think you’ll win?
Do I have to think I’ll win to play? They received a lot of amazing auditions from very talented people. Does it disqualify me to think one of them might win and not me?
Well, I decided to enter anyway. I figured it was up to me to decide whether the fact that I think it’s possible that some other talented individual will win was a disqualifier or not.
So, I’m in the game. I’m in it for the experience. I don’t have to expect to win to play. I hope you get in the games that interest you too.
I wouldn’t object if I got a call from the OWN network. But we don’t have to expect to win to play.
June 27, 2010Evan Hodkins: “There’s no ego on earth large enough to copyright this stuff.”
When Evan assured me I am free to use any ideas he gives me, with or without credit, he noted,
- There’s no ego on earth large enough to copyright this stuff.
I’ve known a few who have tried, but I’m grateful he’s not one.
June 27, 2010Dixie Chicks still not ready to make nice. They don’t have to. They don’t have to be mad as hell, either.
It has been seven years and the Dixie Chicks still aren’t “ready to make nice.” I posted in 2006 about the death threats and harassment they received for expressing their opinion of our president at that time. I also wrote of the power of their song Not Ready to Make Nice. One of my posts noted,
“As they say in their Not Ready to Make Nice song, ‘It turned my whole world around and I kind of like it.’ Their latest album makes it clear why. They have become all the more powerful and expressive. They wrote every song on the album and are making the kind of music they want without feeling restrained by their former base. Because they spoke what they believed they got kicked out of a group they didn’t completely fit with and are discovering a group that feels more like home.”
The Chicks are currently touring with the Eagles, and Not Ready to Make Nice remains their most popular song. It won best song and best album at the Grammys for 2007.
Just in case you think that when your world falls apart, you need to try to piece it back together the way that it was.
I completely LOVE their song. As someone who is particular about nuances of words I would like to say, however, that I don’t want anyone to listen and conclude when someone does you wrong, your options are to comply or get really angry.
If you are angry, don’t pretend you’re not. I offer seven ways to move through and alchemize anger in this article. Constructive Anger: How to SpeakStrong when you’re seeing red. Seven ways to handle anger
Anger is a healthy response to mistreatment, but if you find your new world so compelling that you can’t invest a lot of time in anger, go for it. You don’t have to be angry to avoid making nice.
Anger is a great fuel for action. But so is creativity. If you can’t get mad, don’t get even. And don’t make nice, either. Get creative.
Which, of course, is something the Dixie Chicks also know a lot about.
June 25, 2010Poison Phrase: How can I make my ex talk to me?
When people ask for my help in phrasing things, I often can tell how they sabotage themselves from how they ask the question.
When someone asks,
- How can I make my ex talk to me
I know they’re going about it backwards. They’re trying to force communication instead of inspire it. Sure, there are ways you can make your ex talk to you. It’s unlikely you’ll be satisfied with the results if you do, however.
A better question is,
- How can I create the kind of communication that makes my ex want to talk to me?
or,
- How can I help my ex feel comfortable talking to me?
The same reasoning and approach apply to employees, managers and anyone you need to communicate with. As soon as you try to make someone communicate, you’ve lost.
Of course, creating safety take time. Force can seem easier – but it’s not in the end.
So if you’re wondering how to make people talk, unless you’re an investigator, the answer is, you don’t.
June 25, 2010Free webinar on how to address gossip and manipulation. Meryl Runion, sponsored by McGraw Hill
Gossip got you down at work? Is manipulation a standard for communication in your office? For some leaders and managers, an adversarial, diminishing communication culture is so common that we don’t even notice anymore.
But what if you – whether you have leader or manager in your title or not – had the phrases to nip destructive communication habits in the bud and cultivate a collaborative workplace?
And what if you could access those phrases for free?
McGraw Hill is sponsoring a free webinar series on communication in the workplace. I’ll be presenting the first one, July 27th,
Check it out and reserve your spot!
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Related posts which may interest you
- Communication challenges are opportunities. Gossip and manipulation webinar tomorrow is an opportunity to dynamize communication.
- Gossip and Manipulation Webinar Slides and Archives are Available
- Dynamic dignity, corporate ignominy#3 Collaboration. A more useful tool than a sledge hammer.
- Free podcast and upcoming webinar ask what is gossip? Not so black and white.
- How to stop gossip at work. (Including your boss.) Free webinar.
