June 3, 2010PowerPhrase: We must be operating under different assumptions, because your comments don’t add up for me.
I find when people operate under a different set of assumptions or experiences than I do, their words make no sense. It’s easy to think they’re just crazy, but more effective to address the assumptions with a comment like,
- We must be operating under different assumptions, because your comments don’t add up for me.
When I’m talking with someone who I know and respect, it’s easier for me to shift into that kind of benefit of the doubt. When I don’t know someone as well, it’s easier to shift into judgment and blame.
When I’m talking with someone with whom I have a high degree of trust, we can talk around each other until we figure out what’s happening. Without that trust, we often shut each other down before we reach that point.
So stretch a bit more. Once you uncover their assumptions, they might still seem wrong, but not quite as crazy.
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