June 10, 2010What story do you to tell yourself to make it okay to treat people that way?
My colleague Wendy and I were talking about people we know who left ignominious corporate situations and suddenly got their lives (souls?) back. And in the process we spoke about those who justify behavior that they would never endorse outside of a corporate cultural trance. Wendy asked a question that puts the lack of humanity in corporate practices in perspective. She asks,
- What story do you tell yourself to make it okay to treat people that way?
Kind of cuts through the crap, doesn’t it?
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Oh boy. There are so many people in the world today who need to hear that from someone. I like it because it’s designed not just to offend, but to provoke introspection. If someone said it to me, I know I would be mad, but I would think night and day for a while on why my story is, or is not, justifiable.
I’m going to tuck that question away, too, in my self-evaluation toolkit. I wonder if you realize how many of these PowerPhrases are not just great to use when speaking to others, but also are excellent ways to provoke one’s own soul-searching? Thank you, Wendy, and thank you, Meryl for sharing it.
Comment by Grace — June 12, 2010 @ 7:57 am
If by you, Grace, you mean me, the answer is a resounding YES. I always use other people’s narrowness or limits as a mirror to challenge my own. Even someone who has a beam in their eye can help me see a speck in my own because their beam creates a caricature. My version of the particular behavior may be more subtle, but it’s still worthy of a good cleanse.
I also will say that I’m more inclined to introject than to project. So often I discover that I will take on someone else’s projection. I find by soul-searching that I was pretty on target all along. Gentle souls do that. Sometimes well intended self-inquiry can hold gracious people back because we (if I may flatter myself) think our slates need to be completely clean to object to egregious external infractions. They don’t, and if we wait until they are, less scrupulous souls will wield power far beyond their numbers while we go for spotlessness.
So… that’s kind of story some of us tell ourselves to make inappropriate silence okay.
Comment by merylrunion — June 13, 2010 @ 2:14 pm
Meryl,I though you would like to know that I actually heard this PowerPhrase being used in a TV show recently. In an episode of The Good Wife, the central character (a lawyer) was talking to another lawyer who appeared to have no morals and tried every unfair trick in the book to get what she wanted – including taking her own small child into court in order to sway the judge. The Good Wife said to her, ‘What story do you have to tell yourself to make it OK to do this?’
Comment by Anita — June 16, 2010 @ 1:32 am