June 15, 2010Success story in progress: #2. Who defines the terms of your narrative?
One of the most challenging aspects of Speaking Strong is the art of staying silent until it’s time to speak. This is especially true for those of us who used to stay silent too long and now enjoy having a voice where we once didn’t.
There are many valid reasons to stay silent. A few are: waiting to move from reaction to response, needing to gather information first, laying a foundation for communicating so people understand, speaking to stakeholders first, and adding interest by letting things unfold in sequence. Another is to protect your vision from those who might shoot it down before it’s strong enough to stand on its own legs.
As I get my bearings from my corporate tsunami and figure out how to alchemize my situation, I’ve been speaking to a number of professionals to help me determine my next step. Some light up with possibly. Others don’t.
One publicist introduced me to her colleague as a woman in a dire situation. I corrected her to note that I’m a woman with a challenge that contains tremendous opportunity.
A couple of marketers referred to getting rid of excess inventory. I’m not trying to get rid of anything. I’m planning to leverage my inventory in a dynamic and outrageously productive way.
The people who belong on my team don’t just understand my reframing, but they take it to even higher and more expansive levels than I can consider on my own. It’s magic when I find them. Not surprisingly, the most visionary people I’ve discovered are my newsletter subscribers.
If you are a marketer, social media expert or publicist, or you know one who belongs on my team, will you let me know? I could use help from songwriters and lyricists too. See what I mean about a creative opportunity?
And if you’re going through a transformation that is sensitive to buzz-kill, remember, it’s your life and you get to define the terms of the narrative about it. I’d love to hear how you do that.
I the spirit of using words that shape the future we want, I’ve invented new words for the new communication dynamics. You can find them here.
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Words are certainly very powerful and the way we talk about our own situation not only has a big impact on our colleagues view, but also our own responses. I had a very stressful job a few years ago and it was noticeable that I was struggling with the situation, which also contributed to a tense atmosphere in the office. When people commented I would agree that everything was very stressful.
I then stood back from the situation and thought about everything and changed the way I described it. So when people asked how things were I would say ‘a bit challenging’. This not only brought a smile to my face as using the word ‘bit’ minimised the situation and made it a huge understatement. But the use of the word challenge changed my whole perspective and attitude as I do like a challenge! The very fact I could also smile about it helped considerably.
Things can still get stressful, but I am careful about the language I choose and very much aware when my stress symptoms need attention and do something about it before it becomes a problem.
Thanks for you words of wisdom as it helps to increase my own armoury of tools to help make life more manageable and fun.
Comment by Claire — June 17, 2010 @ 2:33 am
Claire, thanks for sharing this success story! Can I send you a Pippi giraffe for posting it?
I’ve found myself having to help other people see the opportunity in my situation. My late husband spend his final months with cancer in India – I was home with our son for all but the last two weeks – but people who were with him told me he was cheering everyone else up.
The only caveat I have – and I’m not suggesting this applies to you – is that we don’t want to minimize to the point that we don’t get support that we need or deal with things responsibly. There’s a difference between denying reality and alchemizing a situation to its highest potential. I see your understatement as a way of adding levity to a situation that could have been so burdensome that it might have paralyzed you. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Comment by merylrunion — June 18, 2010 @ 9:14 am