June 23, 2010Tips to handle employees who resist feedback
Just got a call from a manager looking for tips for giving feedback to defensive employees. Their jobs depend on being able to listen, adapt and change.
She ran her phrases by me. They were great. Her attitude was collaborative. The only thing I could add was to invite feedback on her feedback. Something like,
- When I make suggestions and offer feedback, your responses seem dismissive and defensive. I intend my input to help you succeed. Is there another way I could give it that would be easier to hear? Is there something about the way I say it that sounds adversarial?
It’s one thing to speak at someone in collaborative language. It’s another to really seek to understand their reactions/responses and our own role in it.
And as this savvy manager clearly knew: ultimately people make their own choices. We can’t do it for them. Our role is to be as clear as we can be an let them decide what to do with the options we present.
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