June 25, 2010Poison Phrase: How can I make my ex talk to me?
When people ask for my help in phrasing things, I often can tell how they sabotage themselves from how they ask the question.
When someone asks,
- How can I make my ex talk to me
I know they’re going about it backwards. They’re trying to force communication instead of inspire it. Sure, there are ways you can make your ex talk to you. It’s unlikely you’ll be satisfied with the results if you do, however.
A better question is,
- How can I create the kind of communication that makes my ex want to talk to me?
or,
- How can I help my ex feel comfortable talking to me?
The same reasoning and approach apply to employees, managers and anyone you need to communicate with. As soon as you try to make someone communicate, you’ve lost.
Of course, creating safety take time. Force can seem easier – but it’s not in the end.
So if you’re wondering how to make people talk, unless you’re an investigator, the answer is, you don’t.
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