August 3, 2010Preemptive dismissals: embrace a point before you argue with it
A great way to spoil a movie is to pick it apart while you watch it. A great way to spoil a conversation is to argue with points before they’ve been made. It’s called being a wet blanket. It’s also called preemptive dismissal.
That’s why brainstorming and evaluation are two different functions.
And why movie critics can miss the fun if they only see a movie once. And conversation critics can miss opportunities if they argue too soon.
Is it possible to appreciate and enjoy a movie and a point while you look for the flaws? Yes – and most of us are better off separating the functions. I think most of us agree that we would lose the flavor of a love poem written to us if we edit it as we read.
I have phrases to help the listening process in the following article: How to Use Reflective Listening Scripts: The Top Ten Dos, Don’ts, and PowerPhrases to Promote Understanding
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