July 15, 2008Poison Phrase of the Week ~ We have no choice
Carl had a great suggestion, but the manager shot it down by saying
- We have no choice.
Carl knew there were lots of choices, but since the manager completely negated his attempt to point out options, and the room full of employees who knew there were lots of choices remained silent, Carl gave up his time-saving suggestion. Chances are Carl will be less likely to share his ideas in the future.
July 8, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Loretta resigned
It was obvious to everyone Loretta had her dream job. So when her company laid her off to save money, and told everyone,
- Loretta resigned
No one bought the story. The company lied because they didn’t want everyone else to worry about their jobs. The effort was counter-productive, because everyone knew Loretta would not have resigned. Now they also knew they worked for a company that lied.
June 26, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Trust the process
When Wanda asked her coach questions, her coach replied with the imperative,
- Trust the process.
Trust is something you earn, not something you command.
I tell you how to earn trust in this week’s article: Let’s get personal: Credible communication is collaborative, even when you’re the expert
June 10, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Please remit payment to…
This week’s poison phrase might not seem poisonous to others, but it’s my preference, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
The people I work with usually become my friends. So it always seems odd when I get invoices from them with standard formal phrases like:
- Please remit payment to
Do you talk that way? Neither do I. It’s strange enough to read this kind of impersonal wording from people we don’t have personal relationships with, but it’s stranger still when we do.
These statements are standard on accounting software like QuickBooks. Take the time to personalize them.
(After proofreading this pose, my sister sent me an invoice stating: “Please remit payment to the aforementioned address. All accounts more than 365 days past due will accumulate interest charges at a rate of .000 per diem and may be submitted to a collection agency.” Humor works too.)
June 8, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Please remit payment to…
This week’s poison phrase might not seem poisonous to others, but it’s my preference, and I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
The people I work with usually become my friends. So it always seems odd when I get invoices from them with standard formal phrases like:
- Please remit payment to
Do you talk that way? Neither do I. It’s strange enough to read this kind of impersonal wording from people we don’t have personal relationships with, but it’s stranger still when we do.
These statements are standard on accounting software like QuickBooks. Take the time to personalize them.
May 20, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Feel better?
Joe listened to Marla’s concerns about a new policy. When she finished, he responded by asking,
- Do you feel better now?
Joe’s comment implied that the only purpose in Marla’s discussion was to relieve emotional pressure. It was dismissive of the substance.
Often listening alone can relieve emotional pressure, and sometimes no further action needs to be taken. But to listen and imply that a policy discussion was all about emotional venting is dismissive.
May 13, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Point well taken
“Point well taken” may sound like a PowerPhrase, but if it’s used to deflect, it’s a Poison Phrase. That’s what it was in Lee’s case. Here’s how the conversation unfolded.
May 13, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Love is a battlefield
I saw a T-shirt that sported the phrase:
- Love is a battlefield.
I differ. When relationships become battlefields, it’s not love. Don’t kid yourself.
May 1, 2008Poison Phrase ~ It’s not my money
Bob spoke up at the register when he was overcharged for his coffee. The cashier realized the register wasn’t working properly, so she rang it up manually - for $1 less than he owed. He pointed out the new error, and she said,
- I’m just trying to help you out. It’s not my money.
Nothing he could say helped her understand that he just wanted to pay what he owed. He was astounded that she saw no reason not to cheat the company she worked for.
April 29, 2008Poison Phrase ~ Pain Killer
The recent discussion about the word “termination” for ending employment heightened my sensitivity to militant terminology in our every day language. Which is why I heard the term “pain killer” with new ears today. The expression suggests aggression, but in fact, most “pain killers” are really pain blockers, and the best ones treat the pain by treating the source of pain.
If you consider pain to be a warning sign, the term “pain killer” could be analogous to “smoke-alarm destroyer.”
Does the term “pain killer” reflect our culture tendency toward aggression over working to resolve the source of our problems? I think it does.
