September 1, 2008Success Story ~ When you calm down, if you want me back, call me.
I wasn’t sure this was a success story because we ended up parting ways, but after I spoke with you, I felt good about setting boundaries.
I’m a web master, and I have several clients. I told one of my clients that I would not be working on her site for a couple of days due to medical reasons, she went into a rant. She was using every swear word I’ve ever heard, and I told her when she calmed down, if she wanted her to come back she could call me. I left.
When I heard back, she terminated our relationship. She sited the fact that I left that day. I responded politely and suggested I wished it had ended on a better note. But the reality is, I’m relieved that I won’t be working with her anymore, and I’m pleased that I stood up when I felt mistreated.
September 1, 2008Success story ~ Making meetings on time
I finally said something about a habit/trait of a co-worker that has bothered our entire team. We have a supervisor that rarely shows up for meetings on time and quite often doesn’t even bother to show up. I had set up a meeting with this person. When I showed up for the meeting, he was not there. 20 minutes later he was still not there. I went upstairs, called him and left a message that when he returned to call me and I would come down for the meeting. No call. A couple of hours later I saw him in our area. He did not see me. He did not stop by to say “sorry” or “let’s reschedule.” The next day I ran into him in the hall and rescheduled. I asked him to promise me that this time he would be there for the meeting. He promised.
I got to his office for the meeting, he was not there. I could see that he was in another office down the hall, so I stopped and talked to another co-worker while I waited. Again 20 minutes went by. He still was in the other person’s office. When we finally got together, I told him that his missing the meeting made me feel very insignificant. Not only did he miss the meeting, he did not return my phone call nor did he stop by to reschedule when he was in the area. He started to apologize and I stopped him and told him I knew he did not mean to make me feel that way, but the consequences of his continually not showing up or being late for our meetings was making me feel like chopped liver. We had a good meeting. When I got up to leave, he apologized again. Again I stated that I knew he did not mean to make me feel bad but that was the result of his missing the meetings. I told him I wasn’t looking for an apology and if he wanted to show me that he had heard what I had said, he just need to show up for the meetings on time. (Unfortunately this is going to be one of those traits that will take some work before the habit changes.)
September 1, 2008Success Story ~ an improved design
When Lee submitted the PowerPhrase of the Week last week, he left out the result. After reading the result, it was clear to me that this was actually a success story.
Here’s what he said,
I should have mentioned that the design review went well after I invoked the PowerPhrase.
The design team focused their attention back on the design, discussed several new alternatives, and agreed on an improved design.
July 28, 2008Success story ~ hostile environment
While my client “Janet” and I hiked the trails this week, she told me her favorite part of my newsletter is my success stories. I need more. So send me some, please? I need stories of times when you spoke powerfully. They don’t have to have anything to do with my writing or newsletter. Blow your own horn and inspire others. Thanks.
Janet told me a success story about a colleague, Carla, who spoke up for her. Janet’s boss had been dismissive of and hostile toward her. Nothing Janet said seemed to help. Carla witnessed Janet’s treatment and told the boss,
- I am unwilling to work in an environment that is this hostile.
The boss backed down. Janet has a new hero.
July 10, 2008Reader Sucess Story ~ Daring to ask
My intuition was telling me my job was at risk, so I asked if the budget was completed, if I was included in the new budget, and if I was going to be downsized. The evasion was my answer. I plan to approach my manager’s manager next, so I have time to prepare for whatever comes my way.
June 19, 2008Reader Success Story ~ managers who listen to feedback
I wanted to follow up on my email to you.
I had my meeting with the managers of our team regarding the results of a recent survey I conducted. I asked questions about what challenges the team faced in their jobs, as well as their thoughts about the management of our group. I am happy to say that I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly this meeting went.
I opened the meeting by saying:
Read the rest of this post here:
June 10, 2008Reader story ~ It cost me my job, but I spoke up
Meryl,
I took a job as sales manager for a new property and radically increased their bookings. Then they asked my to misrepresent the books to bankers. I wasn’t going to lie. My relationship changed after that, and changed more after I confronted my married manager about his affair with my coworker. (I knew the truth and people asked me about it.)
I was terminated for non-performance. There was no justification for the decision. I did manage to get severance pay.
Now I have a great job that doesn’t ask me to lie. I spoke up, it cost me my job, and it was worth it. I like your phrase, say what you mean, mean what you say, and don’t be mean when you say it.
May 20, 2008Success story ~ Here are the improvements we’ve seen
The reader wrote:
As a health consultant, I notice that clients often overlook the improvements they’ve seen. I find it useful to review all their initial complaints and point out improvements they’ve made. I credit them with the changes they’ve made before we discuss what work remains.
What a difference that makes. It keeps them moving forward and inspires them to continue on the path to great health.
March 28, 2008Reader Success Story ~ Comfortable termination
I am a member of a non-profit agency’s board of directors. As a board, we recently faced the unpleasant reality of having to terminate the agency’s executive director. And, since I am viewed as the tough-minded, thick-skinned member of the board, I was “elected” to be the bearer of bad news (at least, from the director’s point of view, it was bad news).
Nobody expected the termination meeting to go well. However, I consulted the Perfect Phrases for Termination section of your book “Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors” and followed your excellent advice, nearly to the letter. And, you guessed it, the meeting went better than everyone expected.
I simply stated that the board had come to a decision to move the shelter in a new direction and that the director’s services would no longer be required, effective immediately. I thanked her for her years of service and requested that she remove her personal belongings. I also made it clear that the matter was not open to further discussion or argument. Understandably, she was upset, but not openly emotional or argumentative. We then adjourned the meeting…quick, clean, and everybody’s dignity was preserved.
Now, our agency is headed in a new, more positive direction. The toxic environment of the work place is greatly improved. And, the public served by the agency has already noticed the numerous changes taking place.
Thank you, Meryl, for all your good work. You have made my life easier and have assisted our agency in becoming a more respected force in our community.
March 27, 2008Success Story ~ Speaking up more
I just want to let you know that the best part of Speaking Strong is being able to speak when I would normally be quiet. I have the confidence that in a situation I can speak up, and even if it does not work out quite right, I believe it is better than being quiet. The real power of it is, in spite of my reticence, most times it works out well.
