July 15, 2008Power Phrase ~ I understand how you can see it that way
When you have great communication with someone who thinks differently from you, it can be fascinating to find out how differently you interpret the same things. When you discover someone took your words in a way you never intended, before you clarify, acknowledge:
- I understand how you could see it that way.
If you don’t understand, seek to understand before you clarify. That gives motivation for more dialogue.
July 10, 2008Power Phrase ~ Under repair
This is from Linda Larsen’s newsletter - and I decided to share it before I realized she told her readers to subscribe to my newsletter.
She wrote of a sign that said the treadmill was:
- Under repair
Instead of out of order.
What a great example of talking about what you want instead of what you don’t want.
June 26, 2008PowerPhrase of the Week ~ You
To personalize your communication, search out ways you use the word “it” and see where you can replace it with:
- You
For example, in This Week in the World, I originally suggested that “it” may seem safer to impersonalize. I changed that to “you may feel safer.”
June 19, 2008PowerPhrase ~ With all the people you could be spending your life with, thanks for choosing me.
PowerPhrases aren’t just about pointing out what’s wrong or letting people know what isn’t working. It is just as important to use PowerPhrases to express love, appreciation and gratitude. Great managers know that they get better results when they consistently let their employees know how much they appreciate them. And great friends and lovers (and newsletter readers) take the time to acknowledge each other too.
Imagine someone you love saying to you,
- With all the people you could be spending your life with, thanks for choosing me.
The fact is, letting someone into your heart and life is a huge decision and shold be acknowledged as such.
Acknowledgment is powerful. I know I appreciated my reader taking the time to tell me about the goose bumps she experienced when she watched A World of Truth. So think of how you want to acknowledge the people in your life. And do it.
June 10, 2008Power Phrase ~ I’d like to see you move past this one quickly
Gloria had forgotten to include her colleague in a decision, and when the colleague confronted her about it, Gloria felt disappointed with herself. She shared her self-disappointment with another colleague who replied:
- I’d like to see you move past this one quickly
The message was: it’s okay to feel bad about this, and it’s not worth too much mental anguish. They were perfect words for Gloria to hear.
May 22, 2008PowerPhrase~Turn your cell phone off unless it’s your birthday
This is a tip from Ross Lasley. (The internet educator.)
At the beginning of a presentation, he asks audience members to turn their cell phones off “unless it’s your birthday.” He lets them know that when their phone rings, everyone will join in singing “Happy Birthday to you.”
It turns a request into a playful thing.
May 20, 2008PowerPhrase ~ Let me finish my sentance because I’d like your input on this.
When Thom couldn’t make his point without interruption, he said,
- Let me finish my sentence because I’d like your input on this.
The person complied.
May 13, 2008PowerPhrase ~ Crumb management problem
Sometimes levity gets the best results. That’s why Margie used levity when the break room wasn’t clean up to standards. At the meeting, she told the group,
- We have a crumb management problem in the break room. Let’s figure out how to solve it.
Together, they solved their crumb management problem.
May 1, 2008PowerPhrase ~ What this means for you is…
Robbie’s description of his services was clear and well stated, but it wasn’t written in terms of the benefits to his customers. His coach helped him focus by giving him the phrase,
- What this means for you is…
The service was a medical diagnostic tool, and the description talked about how it found health issues that other tools missed.
The new description included the phrase,
- No, it’s NOT in your head.
The description addresses the plight of those who have been told by doctors who couldn’t find the cause of their symptoms that the issue was psychological. The new phrase told them what they needed to hear after hearing they were making their illnesses up.
May 1, 2008PowerPhrase ~ I’ll let that one go because I can tell how angry you are
On my planet, people don’t hit people they care about (or even people they don’t care about) below the belt. On my planet, they don’t speak to hurt, they speak to clarify and resolve.
And on my planet, when someone hits you below the belt, you set a boundary. Unless there is more to be gained by letting it pass.
That’s what Lynette did when Tom made an unfair attack on her during an argument. She let it go deliberately and strategically. She said,
- I’ll let that one go because I can tell how angry you are. What we need to focus on is…
It kept the conversation on track without making her a victim.
