December 14, 2010I’ve moved! New Effective Communication Skill Blog
My PowerPhrase a Week blog is now my Effective Communication Skill blog. You are still welcome to search the posts in this blog and post comments here. I also invite you to visit my new blog here. It’s a new year, and I expect you’ll like the new SpeakSTRONG.
But don’t keep me guessing! Please comment to let me know. What do you like? What would you change? What would make it more useful to you?
Thanks for visiting, and keep on SpeakingSTRONG.
October 16, 2010Sometimes storming out is a PowerPhrase: A view of The View
Thursday, Joy Beher and Whoopi Goldberg angrily walked off the set of The View when an interview with Bill O’Reilly degenerated into a shouting match. They received praise and criticism for walking out.
One of my principles is: A PowerPhrase is as Strong as it needs to be and no stronger. I was searching my site when I found the following reader success story from 2007.
My boss was on yet another rant about a particular ethnic group and why “They will be irrelevant in ten years” and how such and such political candidate should just tell this ethnic group to “Go F&@# themselves” and . . . You get the drift.
I have had it with this kind of talk. I’ve told him before, several times that I don’t appreciate this kind of language or this kind of hate-talk. He is a professional, who prides himself on his professionalism. Where does this kind of behavior fit into the image of a professional? GGGrrrrrrr.
On Thursday in mid-rant, I slammed my hand down on my desk and stood up. I looked him in the eye and said, “I’ve asked you before not to use that kind of language or hate-talk around me. I won’t listen to it.” Then I picked up my keys and my purse and started to edge around him to leave the office. He was too shocked to speak, but he didn’t move out of the way. While we were standing there (in a little stare-down), a consultant who works in our office walked up and started to tell an off-color joke. I looked directly at my boss and said, “It’s because you use the language you do, that he feels comfortable telling jokes like this. I won’t listen to this.” I left for an early lunch and didn’t return until after 1:30. My boss was waiting at his desk to apologize.
I think my point is that, in the past I had been asking him to stop. By taking active steps, standing up and picking up my purse and keys, I declared that I wouldn’t listen. I was taking away his audience. When he saw the consultant mimicking his behavior and I attributed it directly to his own words, I believe he saw the light. My leaving was just the punctuation. I don’t like confrontation and I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t feel strong enough to hang around after making my point. I sort of feel like I pulled a punch-and-run. If I was able to make this one tiny change in my workplace, I’ll be happy. Thanks again for the courage.
I like what the reader says – her walking out was punctuation.
In the reader’s case, it was a point well taken. In the case of The View, I have other thoughts about it.
August 19, 2010How to Talk to Your Doctor radio interview
Last week I gave an interview about being assertive with your doctor. Yesterday I had a long talk with a friend who had to practice that art under very difficult circumstances. To put it in her words, “it’s hard to argue with your doctor when an ambulance he called without informing you is waiting for you.”
How assertive should you be with your doctor? And how do you prepare for a doctor visit in order to get the most out of the 15 minutes that the average appointment allows for? Since 85% of patients don’t get to finish their opening sentance how can you communicate in ways that get your concerns heard and give the doc the information he or she needs to treat you properly?
And how do you get establish a partnership relationship with your doctor? Is it even possible?
This was the topic for a radio show I interviewed for called Clint’s Cures.
You can hear the archive of our conversation here. It could make the difference between a successful doctor visit and a frustrating one.
You can also read an article about How to Talk to Your Doctor here.
July 28, 2010Graphjam illustrates how we set people close to us up to lie. Hilarious chart.
How often do you ask a question and not really want an honest answer? Ironically, we often set our closest associates up to lie to us. This chart explains.
July 27, 2010Human support and interaction: productivity balms
I think I might as well make it official. Assistants are my favorite audience of all. I love nurses, managers are great, non-profits and government groups have a lot going for them and my army attendees light my fire and touch my heart. But assistants are all about support, and it’s a pleasure and an honor to have them shine that support on me.
I’m an introvert. I’ve told you that. An introvert who has given over a thousand presentations. I still get nervous. I was nervous before I presented for IAAP conference last week. I was nervous until we had a speaker’s luncheon and then I went to the bookstore to schmooze. By the time I presented, I was already in love with my audience and there was no room for nervousness. The presentation was a delightful sweet sharing.
Relating isn’t a waste of time. It’s a productivity balm. I didn’t just have more fun because I had been given the opportunity (thanks Susan) and took the time to relate. I gave a better presentation for it. Human interaction and support is a productivity balm.
Think you don’t have time for it? I differ.
July 27, 2010Facebook Firings show there’s more to Speaking Strong than letting it all hang out.
Probably a case of good riddance – but still – there’s a difference between being open and honest and being publicly belligerent and stupid.
July 26, 2010Communication challenges are opportunities. Gossip and manipulation webinar tomorrow is an opportunity to dynamize communication.
I love talking about collaborative, synergistic communication. And even though I’ll be detailing workplace gossip and manipulation in the www.perfectphrases.com webinar tomorrow, it gives me an opportunity to talk about the kind of dynamic communication I teach.
Gossip and manipulation give me the opportunity to talk about dynamic communication, and the tips, tools and phrases I’ll be sharing will give you the opportunity to improve the dynamics of your communication with others. Join us! it’s free!
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Related posts which may interest you
- 6 steps for turning problems (like gossip) into opportunities
- How to stop gossip at work. (Including your boss.) Free webinar.
- Free podcast and upcoming webinar ask what is gossip? Not so black and white.
- A good way to handle gossip in the workplace and a great way
- Gossip and Manipulation Webinar Slides and Archives are Available
July 18, 2010Two ways to get a copy of SpeakStrong for free
I have promotional copies of my book SpeakStrong that I will send to you for free – including shipping. Here’s what you do to get one.
1. Order my new edition of Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors from theSpeakStrong Store or from Amazon and post a review on Amazon by August 1st. (I extended the date for that offer from my previous post.) Let me know once you’ve posted it.
2. Comment on my blog. I will select one commenter each week to win a promotional copy of SpeakStrong.
Here are a few tips for writing reviews and comments. And guess what? They are simple PowerPhrase principles.
1. Be brief. Usually, less really is more.
2. Be specific. Illustrate points and give examples.
3. Be targeted. Start out with a writing objective.
4. Say what you mean. Be personal. Write from your heart and original thoughts.
5. Mean what you say. If anything doesn’t quite pass your authenticity meter, rework it.
6. Don’t be mean when you say it. While you might take issue with something I write or wish to note a point I omit, (and my best contributors often do,) be graceful in your expression. If you post about “someone who done you wrong,” avoid demonizing the person.
Those tips are helpful for reviews and blog comments – and emails and just about everything.
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Related posts which may interest you
- Time to tie things up: Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors second edition gives phrases for humane employment termination
- This Week in the World ~ No perfect words
- Perfunctory performance reviews and other empty words
- I’ve moved! New Effective Communication Skill Blog
- This Week’s Discussion ~ Gender possessives and pronouns
July 1, 2010Time to tie things up: Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors second edition gives phrases for humane employment termination
Ooops – if you came here looking for a link to this article, it’s here.
PowerPhrase: I wish I could let you take all the time you want to tie things up. I’d like to give you the kind of send-off you deserve
I didn’t update the link in my newsletter.
The original post for this address is below. with a little “do-over” irony.
We don’t often get do-overs, but I got one. And do it over I did. I revised my Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors book from top to bottom with new dynamics sprinkled throughout. It’s not an expensive book so I freely recommend you get the new version, even if you already have the older one.
I love it. And just to inspire Amazon reviews, I have an offer. Buy a copy from me or from Amazon and post a review to Amazon by July 21st, and I will send you a free copy of my SpeakStrong book. No kidding. Sound like a plan?
You can also get the revised phrase book in my three and four management book specials.
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Related posts which may interest you
- How to Say It Amazon Review Contest Offers Possible 10:1 ROI (Return on Investment)
- My Teenager and I Read Parts Out Loud for Laughs
- Two ways to get a copy of SpeakStrong for free
- 3 New Resources Are Available 2 DVDs and a Performance Review Phrase Book
- Poison Phrase ~ An inappropriate one-star rating
June 30, 2010The IAAP is having a PowerPhrases Giraffle in Boston
What do you call it when you have a drawing for a cute stuffed Pippin Giraffe that you enter by suggesting PowerPhrases?
Why, a
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- Giraffle
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of course.
Susan Fenner, IAAP’s Education and Professional Development Manager came up with the idea.
And it made me wonder why they need me to teach PowerPhrases when they have her.
