June 28, 2010The “What Can I Help You Say Today” Show – audition on Oprah is up

Sunshine sent me an email about her audition for a show on Oprah’s new OWN Network on Friday. Saturday I crested a video audition of my own. I thought it didn’t go through, but it did. I’d love your vote for my “What Can I Help You Say Today” show.

It’s about finding the perfect words for life’s challenging conversations. Like – how do you tell someone they smell bad? How do you get someone to get the help they need? And how do you turn defensive, adversarial conversations into collaborative ones?

Vote early and often – or at least just early.

June 23, 2010Chinese flyswatter campaign provides SpeakStrong inspiration

My husband was telling me China had a fly epidemic years ago, and responded by giving everyone a flyswatter.

When a billion people have flyswatters, the flies don’t stand a chance. The campaign worked.

I’d like to duplicate that effort, but instead of flyswatters, give everyone the tools to SpeakStrong.

Do that and power games, victimhood and manipulation won’t stand a chance.

May 10, 2010Mulhern survey on how to get promoted revealing and encouraging

Doing a great job does get rewarded in today’s workplace, according to a recent workplace survey conducted by Author Dan Mulhern.

The top two factors to getting promoted were rated as,

1.  Demonstrating results at your current position.

2.  Being seen as a person who goes over and  above what’s expected.

These qualities outranked credentials and qualifications.

Mulhern concludes, If you want to have a higher-up job, act like you already have it.  Don’t meet expectations, surpass them.

Mulhern is an expert in every day leadership. His survey affirms a point I make in the leader development book I am currently writing – if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, people think it probably is a duck. If it walks like a leader and talks like a leader, people think he or she probably is a leader. Leaders go beyond what is expected.

And according to Mulhern’s survey, most people find that the workplace really does reward that effort. Refreshing news!

May 3, 2010Figuring out how to follow your bliss is pretty darn blissful

I’m just back from a hike in my backyard. I was thinking about how I could make everything I do in my work totally joyful for me. I’m almost there but came up with lots of new avenues.

A nice place to figure out how to follow your bliss, huh!

April 28, 2010Awesome pics from Iceland volcano show it’s not just about cancelled flights.

I’ve heard a lot more about people stranded in airport that the ground reality in Iceland these days. Being half Icelandic, I was grateful to receive these pictures. They tell quite a story. You can see more at boston.com, here.

March 30, 2010Isolation in Iceland led to a man of few words and great depth. My dad.

I posted previously that my father loves my latest book and that it inspired him to talk more. When I was growing up, he was a man of few words. Look at the picture of where he grew up, and it’s easy to understand why.

This picture was taken recently. In his young years, there were far fewer buildings. Visitor were rare, and when someone did come, my father was so frightened he would hide.

We’re all products of our histories in one way or another.

Well, my father’s history may not have taught him a lot about communication, but it did turn him in to a man of great depth.

March 9, 2010“Crowd-sourcing” request for input on the SpeakStrong Website

Are you familiar with the term “crowd-sourcing”? It refers to putting out an open call for input to non-employees. The New Dynamics of Communication are inclusive and synocratic, and crowd-sourcing is one feature of that.

Months ago I put out an open call to ask what readers see as my unique contribution. I received many wonderful posts. Last week that thread was picked up again. The comments touched my heart.

Now I’m in the process of reorganizing my web sites and invite your input. When you visit my site, what is your experience like? What is your favorite feature? Do you find what you’re looking for? Are there sources of frustration for you? Is there something you’re looking for that you can’t find?

Are there services you’d like me to offer that aren’t there?

If you’ve ordered or started to place an order on the site, is there anything about the shopping cart you recommend we change?

In summary, my question is: how can I serve you better?

Send your input via the blog, or email me here.

March 2, 2010HBR post nails the need to consider image in choosing words and Speaking Strong

What kind of person are you?

Are you the kind of person who works cheap? Are you the kind of person who helps those in need?

Peter Bregman highlights the importance of asking for things in ways that enhance self image in an article about motivation in Harvard Business Review. Bregman reported that when AARP asked some lawyers if they would reduce their fee to $30 an hour to help needy retirees, the lawyers declined. Then they asked the lawyers if they would do it for free. The lawyers agreed.

Bregman explains that when we consider whether to do something, we subconsciously ask ourselves: “Am I the kind of person who . . ?”  When the lawyers were offered $30 an hour their question was “Am I the kind of person who works for $30 an hour?” Their answer was no. When they were asked to do it as a favor, they asked themselves, “Am I the kind of person who helps people in need?” Their answer to that question was yes.

Fascinating! Think of the implications. And then, think of what kind of person the people in your life think they are – and how your words might challenge or enhance those images.

Non-profit meeting planners sometimes ask me if I will speak for an honorarium instead of asking if I would speak for a reduced fee.

Writing partners will ask if their buddies would welcome input instead of if they need help.

Good managers say they will ask their staff to do things instead of saying they will tell them to do things.

People who speak for honorariums, receive input and are asked to do things feel different from those who reduce their fees, need help and are told what to do.

When you pick your words, stay aware of what kind of person you are signaling the other person to be. Choose words that dynamize their self-images and create momentum.

February 23, 2010Last week to register for SpeakStrong Conflict Management Training in Denver

Register now for my CTAT SpeakStrong in conflict management training in Denver. I’m excited to announce that Dr. Howard Nornes, a professor of Developmental Neuroscience, will talk about how brain structure affects how we manage conflict. I’ll present my brainlet communication dream team, and Dr. Nornes will go into the science behind my communication techniques. It will be a fun, factual and fruitful day.

You can read more about it here and here

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February 23, 2010SpeakStrong Insights from CBS’ “The Undercover Boss”

If you ever think upper management doesn’t know what you do, or you suspect you might not know what goes on with the people you manage, you’ll find The Undercover Boss to be an interesting show. CEO’s of organizations work in entry positions of their own companies to see what it’s really like out there. Whatever its flaws, The Undercover Boss shows how illuminating it can be for leaders and managers to shadow their employees.

The main value isn’t that they uncover problem behaviors , although that certainly does happen. (The Hooters episode exposes a doozy.)  The experience allows for management to see how their policies affect their front-line employees… and for management to see how great many of their employees really are. Unlike most reality shows that strive to catch people at their worst, this show catches many people in their goodness.

Women, Gen Y, social media and globalization are creating a growing trend toward synocratic interaction in the workplace. This show illustrates how useful that can be.
Check it out. And consider shadowing people who work for you… although in your case you probably won’t be undercover.  (I provide phrases to announce your intentions to shadow in Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors.)

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