"Joe" was eager to tell me all the details of a recent luncheon fiasco. It took a long time before they started serving food, the chairs were hard and the lines were long.

I didn't have to imagine why that was so tedious. I attended a wedding reception last week where the bride and groom arrived an hour after the guests, and then they invited people to get thier food by table numbers. We were table 22 out of 22 tables. We were right by the serving lines, and yet it took another hour before we could serve ourselves. So I told Joe about my experience.

"Yes, but you're much younger than I am, so it's not so difficult," Joe replied.

Wait - is this a competition? I don't know if Joe thought I was trying to steal his thunder, or if he intended to come across competitively, but his words did plant competitive seeds.

I replied,

• I'm saying that I feel your pain because you're describing a situation similar to one I've had recently.

Joe was satisfied with that. 

Have you ever found yourself in an argument and wondered how or why it happened? I sure have. Related experiences like we had can be the source of bonding - or the source of dueling. I know which choice I prefer. You?