Betty defended her joy. When her husband told her they couldn't afford massage right now, she told him with her new job,
- We can't afford for me to not receive massage now, with all I'm doing.
He got right on board with her and has been supportive ever since.
Betty spoke with certainty. That probably played a strong role in winning her husband's support. But what if you're not certain? What if you're looking for support in coming to certainty? Often, people who are more results-oriented will tend to push a decision on people who are processing options and seeking input but not premature answers.
Being pretty much of a verbal processor myself, I find it helps to speak with certainty about my need to be in process until the path is clear enough for a decision. I will say:
- I'm getting perspective and processing my options right now. I'd love your input into my decision (that process.)
Now that I write this, I realize my husband defended he process last night. He had a confusing exchange with a client. He asked for my input, but clearly told me he was aware that he would see it differently in the morning.
He does see it differently this morning. He shared today's perspective, and told me he intends to let it settle over the weekend. He let me know he might ask my input again once he's had more time to process it.
He intends to call the client Monday. If we discuss it Sunday, I expect the conversation to be more concrete and more focused on action.
Defend your joy with as much certainty as you can authentically muster. If you're not certain, defend your right not to know for sure yet, and defend your right to process options.