"Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say Without Being Mean When You Say It" ~ Meryl Runion Rose                                ShoppingCart Plum NB 50

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Effective Communication Skill Blog

consignmentclothingI took about 60 clothing items to Kristin at my local consignment store yesterday. I was stunned and pleased when she took everything I offered her. In an instant, I was much closer to my goal of having a manageable wardrobe, which is part of my Lean2Life goal of having a manageable life. It felt like an act of grace.

I got what I wanted. My closet has "Space for Grace." It flows, and it is a delight to use now. So why would I get sad? 

Even when we get what we want, it's natural to grieve what we don't have anymore. I had each clothing item for a reason, and I had a relationship with each one. It's legitimate to feel some pinch at giving up anything, even if you decided it doesn't work for you anymore. Conscious grieving is not a problem.

What is a problem is when you think you shouldn't be sad, and you block your need to grieve a bit. Repressed, or unconscious emotions are the ones that get you. 

I felt the grace of Kristin's taking everything, along side my healthy "Good Grief" about parting with my clothing "friends." 

I got what I wanted, yet I needed to grieve a little. Grieving is also natural when we don't get what we want - even if we see the perfection of the situation through the Eyes of Grace. Say you didn't get the job you wanted (or you did get it, but it didn't pan out as you had hoped.) Or you got outbid on your dream house right before your offer was to be accepted. Most of my community members handle those disappointments well. They see life through the Eyes of Grace and embrace the opportunity for something better to show up. 

But it's still okay to grieve. In fact, Good Grief can clear the way to moving on. Sometimes positive people struggle and think there is something wrong with them if they feel sad for a bit. There's not.

In related news, my shopping cart is up for renewal this week. I'm not getting the orders I used to and I decided to close my bookstore down. It's the end of an era. I'm okay with letting go of that part of my life. I'm embracing this new reality; but I still run into pockets of sadness. I see this transition through the Eyes if Grace, and that grace leaves room for some very Good Grief. 

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©2015 Meryl Runion Rose. Meryl is a Certified Speaking Professional and the Creator of the SpeakStrong Method of Dynamically Effective Communication. Find her at www.SpeakStrong.com

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