"Who is that man?" my friend asked, after speaking with my husband. She marveled at how relaxed he has become.
Late last year, Bob's intensity was getting to him. I watched helplessly as he pushed himself further. I could talk about it with him, but his business was running him, and he was constantly "chasing time." What's a girl to do?
Change herself. I wasn't all about work the way he was, but I could benefit from cutting back, too. So I "stopped starting and started finishing" and committed to "create space for grace" in my life, both in my physical world (our shared spaces included) and in my schedule. I was doing it for myself, but part of my motivation was to model and catalyze a different way of living.
Bob latched on to the phrase "space for grace," and now, now, not a single day goes by without his mentioning it. He changed his scheduling to allow for how long things actually take rather than how long he would like them to take. He cut back on client appointments.
The transformation is dramatic. My friend confirmed that today by admiring how calm he is. Of course, he was ready for a change. But the phrase "space for grace" gave him focus for his efforts - as it has me. (Interesting. As I suspected, his income hasn't dropped even though he's actually taking weekends and evenings off now.)
The change in me and the environment has surely contributed as well. Things are in order, and my priority is to be a joy to live with. Now, that's an objective worth striving toward.