Effective Communication Skill Blog

dance tutu 200"'How do I get rid of the fear? Alas, that is the wrong question."

Seth Godin observes that getting rid of fear requires not putting yourself out there and not doing things that matter.

The right question, Godin suggests, is:

  • How do I dance with the fear?

He goes on to say that fear isn't the enemy, paralysis is. That's why he advises us to ask ourselves:

  • How do I dance with the fear?

 

Good question. I say don't stop there. There are more good questions. Ask the bigger question. 

  • How do I dance with life?

Dance loosens the paralysis of the moment. Ask,

  • How will I dance with life...today?

I thought about Dances with Wolves and adopted the name for myself: Dances with Life. Yes, it's a dance alright.  

 

Ask yourself:

  • How will I dance with life right now?

Then, ask specific, smaller questions that are your own. 

My current question is:

  • How do I dance with my healing process?

  • How do I dance with a healing process where I wake in the morning full of energy, invite my friend up, and fade while she's on her way up?
  • How do I dance with a healing process where what balances me for two days throws me out of balance the third?
  • How do I dance with a healing process where I need to hike the trails for exercise, but my herbs require me to stay close to a bathroom, and after the fire, there are no bushes to hide behind?

 

I dance to keep myself fluid. When I feel the paralysis, I move.

But my dance with life and my healing process includes stillness—dynamic stillness. My dance with life leaves room for pause. 

My husband understands the dances I do. My friend does, too. I called to tell her I would be meditating when she arrived. She busied herself with her own dance in our lovely spring-enlivened yard as I sank into the depths of stillness. I emerged refreshed and we did a shared dance. It was lovely.

I cherish those close to me who understand how I ask the question:

  • How do I dance with my healing process right now?

I danced with the fear that they wouldn't understand, and in fact, they do. They trust me to honor my answer. I return the favor when they, too, are called into a dance with life that may not be what we had originally planned. 

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