Effective Communication Skill Blog

"Bee" has an incredibly generous spirit.  It's a beautiful quality - which she needs to reign in, lest she over-give. Currently, she's coming to terms with how much over-giving she has done lately. She is mad and frustrated with herself that after all her efforts to find balance, she has set herself up to be on the short end, yet again.

This again? I relate. I haven't been over-giving lately, but yet again, I do find myself in old behaviors that don't serve me. I also catch myself getting frustrated with, critical of, and mad at my myself for still practicing an old pattern that I had hoped to have outgrown by now.

The SpeakStrong Method uses the "This Again?" recognition as an opportunity. When I coach, I watch for situations where some part of my Community Member (CM) is at odds with themselves. We personify the aspects of self and get them talking. So, Bee's over-giver and her critic get a conversation going.

It's amazing what a difference that can make in external conversations. If you ever get mixed messages from someone, you can be pretty sure they're sending mixed messages to themselves. There are parts of themselves that aren't communicating. When we personify and express our inner dynamics, the outer dynamics get clear. It's a powerful technique that helps us speak in a unified voice, which is a strong voice. I use it with myself regularly.

Bee is frustrated with herself. That tells me she's ready to get conscious and transform a life-long pattern. It takes time, but it's so worth it. Her generous spirit is one of her finest qualities. As her inner critic gets the right tools to balance her excesses, amazing things happen. 

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