Saturday. I was late leaving for dance. Nothing unusual there. As I packed up my lunch to take with me, Bob came in the kitchen. I said:"I'm scrambling to get out. May I have dominance in the kitchen right now?"
"Sure," he replied. He made a point to stay out of my way as I completed my preparations.
It hasn't always worked that way. Our balance in the kitchen is hard-won.
"May I have dominance now?" Lilith, Adam's first wife, was banished from the garden for wanting dominance. She was replaced by Eve, a more submissive helpmate. Lilith has returned in balance with Eve in the garden of our kitchen. They dance well with Adam.
Once upon a time, when Bob (Adam) and I tried to do things in the kitchen at the same time, we would collide. He assumed dominance. I tried to stay out of his way, but often banished myself from the kitchen when he came in. Even if I was in the middle of a process, I found it easier to go do something else until he was done.
Tuesday. Bob fixed his breakfast while I replenished the spices. I said: "We dance in the kitchen these days instead of collide."
"That's because I gave up assuming my needs are more important than yours," he replied.
Yes, that does help. My own re-balancing helps too. No one assumes dominance anymore. There is a give and a take.
Today is the anniversary of our marriage. I'm wearing the skirt I wore in our wedding. I'm wearing it inside-out. The colors are still beautiful but much softer than outside-out.
There is much to celebrate. I'll dance to that!
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