It starts with passive or aggressive communication. Often the next stage is to swing to the opposite polarity - the passive communicator gets heavy-handed and the aggressive communicator goes soft. Eventually we develop balance - which is assertiveness - yet can look like passiveness or aggression at times.
Don was rightfully upset that his bank told another interested buyer that he had already inquired about a specific property. That prompted the other buyer to put in their offer immediately and helped the other buyer win the contract.
The damage is done. Don wondered if he should just let it go, or write a scathing and threatening letter to the bank president. His initial considerations had no middle ground.
Don isn't mean-spirited, so when the choices are so extreme, he is likely to say nothing - and let it eat away at him.
The fact is, Don was wronged, and leadership at the bank needs to know about it. One option moving forward is to go to the president and say:
- Someone at this bank was indiscreet and I was injured. I don't see any way to make it right now. However, I do want to let you know what happened so you can make it right moving forward.