"Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say Without Being Mean When You Say It" ~ Meryl Runion Rose                                ShoppingCart Plum NB 50

Be Strong. Be Clear. Be Kind. Be Free. Be YOU!!!

PowerPhrases

Once you know who you are as an individual and you know what your unique contribution is to the team, family and group, you have the foundation to SpeakStrong from The Synergy Center. 

We need people like you

Melissa sent out an association newsletter that got rave reviews from everyone but Jade. Jade emailed back a series of criticisms and corrections. Melissa replied,

powerphrase_icon2

  • Thanks, Jade. We need people like you to help with the newsletter. Would you like to join the team?

Jade did, and her input was both helpful, and more balanced now that she was a part of the project. Melissa was tempted to resist the input, and was glad she embraced it instead. 

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An opportunity for your relationship to mature

Sandy's new sweetheart was threatened by the fact that her work involves relating intimately with her clients - some of which are men. She actually considered eclipsing her practice for this new relationship, despite the powerphrase_icon2financial hardship it would cause her. That kind of control didn't serve her relationships in the past, and wouldn't serve her new one any better. She shifted her consideration when someone observed,

This is an opportunity for your relationship to mature.

Too often we change for someone else, and end up resenting it. Sandy was ready to stop doing that. 

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The power of "I'd love to"

When I ask my assistant Angela to do things for me, she almost always responds with the words,

  • I'd be happy to do that for you.powerphrase_icon2

Sometimes, instead she says,

  • I'd love to do that for you.

There are times when she lets me know something isn't a great fit or she doesn't have time for a particular project - which I'd much rather she do than agree to something she can't do. Still, her words always support a statement she once made,

I am 100% committed to your success.

How different that is from someone who once told me the job beat flipping burgers!

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Job security from empowering others

Dale keeps Rob's books and does other administrative work for him. Recently she mentioned to him how easily he could enter most of the information himself. She noted,

  • If you did that, you wouldn't need me.powerphrase_icon2

Rob was very impressed that this woman, who needed the work, willingly shared an idea that could cost her work. That simple observation won Rob's trust. The fact is, the more Dale empowers Rob, the more he can expand what he does, and the more ways he'll be able to use her services. 

You can be sure, when Rob needs help, Dale is the first person he thinks of. 

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Please, will you adopt me too?

I just received an email requesting auction items for a fundraiser for a couple to adopt an 11-year-old boy.

powerphrase_icon2The tale they tell is that the couple was in the Philippine orphanage to adopt their daughter when the boy came up to them and said,

  • Please, will you take me home with you, too? I love America.

He was the oldest child at the orphanage and had watched numerous friends be adopted, leaving him behind. With that ability to make direct requests, I think that young man will do very well in business. 

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Let's not waste a great crisis

In the world of lean management and manufacturing, problems are considered opportunities to grow. FastCap, a company I toured, clearly has that principle engrained in the minds of their people.

powerphrase_icon2The day before my visit, the plant had a power outage. While they were able to operate normally in general, they did find some holes in their back-up systems. They discussed the issues in their company-wide employee meeting. One of the operators blurted out,

Let's not waste a great crisis.

Everyone chuckled and nodded in agreement. Crisis shows us where we're strong and where we're weak. Once the crisis passes - for FastCap that meant the power was back on - and we're not fighting fires anymore - it's time to let the crisis teach us where we have room to improve.

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Simple sharing got results

"You really got his attention," my husband noted. He was referring to the contractor who actually showed up on time today, and apologized for having been late so often.

powerphrase_icon2"You must have spoken strong."

What had I said? I just shared the truth - that my husband and I didn't believe any estimates he gave us because they were consistently unrelated to when he actually arrived. I explained that we didn't enjoy relationships where we didn't have trust, and that made us reluctant to do any more work with him, even though the quality of his work was excellent.

I just told him how it was. My husband had complained about his erratic arrivals many times, but my words got through.

The man has a heart, and I spoke from mine. That tapped into his. Sometimes simple truth is the most powerful. 

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PowerPhrase: Is there something in the system causing this behavior?

Great managers manage the system that employees and team members operate in. A great phrase to ask yourself is,

  • Is there something in the system that causes team members to act the way they do?

PowerPhrases LogoIt helps first to have clearly defined how you would like someone to operate. Then identify the gap. Next, you ask what is preventing the team member from operating that way. Often it's the system, and managers who work ON the system rather than IN the system find many problems are averted, not resolved. 

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Albus Dumbledore on Truth

"The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing,

and therefore should be treated with great caution."

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Albus Dumbledore

 

SpeakingSTRONG requires skill and deliberate choices. There is a fine art to truthing. Brutal honesty is a cop-out. Elegant honesty enhances the beauty and reduces the terribleness of truth.

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PowerPhrase About Late Arrival to a Meeting

When Nancy did not show up on time for the meeting, her associates started without her, even though Nancy was supposed to present. Nancy arrived fifteen minutes late and listened as someone else explained the plan that Nancy had been scheduled to present.

powerphrase_icon2After the meeting, one of Nancy's team members asked why she was so late. Nancy's reason was more of a lame excuse, so the team member explained,

  • Some of the busiest people here made time to be available at the time you agreed to. By coming late you made a statement that you don't value their time. That's not a message you want to send.

Later in the conversation Nancy asked a few questions explaining that she wanted to be sure not to disappoint again. Clearly the message was received. 

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Quote: The Price of Losing the Rule of Law

"Losing the rule of law is too great to call it a mere excess.

It is a catastrophe.

It is the heart, mind and soul between the people and their government."

quote

~ Tom Ball

The same is true for losing the commitment to truth. I'm sometimes shocked at people's willingness to overlook obvious distortions and manipulations. I'm not just talking about governance here. 

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Article Use

Please copy, quote, distribute, share and publish these articles with the following credits.

©2015 Meryl Runion Rose. Meryl is a Certified Speaking Professional and the Creator of the SpeakStrong Method of Dynamically Effective Communication. Find her at www.SpeakStrong.com

Let me know how you use them. Thanks!  

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